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         %JACK HELPS JILL PRETEND COLLUSION UNTRUTH 890728

     Jack  and  Jill are helping each other  in  different
ways  to maintain the pretensions of their collusive  game
of mutual self deception.

     Each  is committed to helping the other pretend  that
they  do  not  see  through the "truth"   of  the  other's
pretense.

     When  Jack  pretends to be ignorant about some  human
experience  (because the collusion demands such ignorance)
Jill  helps Jack by pretending to believe that Jack is  in
fact ignorant.  Jack in turn pretends to believe that Jill
really  believes that he is really ignorant,  when  he  is
not.

     When   Jill   pretends  to  know  about  some   human
experience (about which she is really ignorant) Jack helps
Jill  by  pretending that her pretense is  convincing  and
that it really appears that she is knowledgeable.

     When  Jack pretends to believe/not-believe  something
which  is  contrary to what he  really  does  believe/not-
believe;  then Jill helps Jack maintain the power of their
collusion   by   pretending  that   Jack's   pretense   is
convincing, when it is not.

     When  Jill  pretends  not to feel,   with regards  to
some mutual experience,  Jack helps Jill by pretending  to
believe that Jill's pretending is convincing, when in fact
he can see through it; though perhaps only dimly.

     Each  is only dimly aware that their pretensions  are
really  pretensions,   and that each is helping the  other
maintain pretensions which each other sees through.  Dimly
they know that they are helping each other become less and
less  aware  of the  difference  between  truth/falsehood,
knowledge/ignorance,    feeling/numbness,    belief/doubt,
hope/despair, faith/despair, care/indifference, etc.

     As  Jack  and  Jill  succeed in  helping  each  other
maintain their many forms of pretensions they become  less
and  less aware of the differences between their realities
and their pretensions.  They become progressively more and
more  confused  about  all  differences,   including   the
differences  between self and other.  The  violence  which
they do to themselves seems to threaten them from outside,
because the difference between outside and inside has been
blurred by pretensions. They fear that everybody is out to
"get" them. They cannot trust each other, because they can
not  trust  themselves  to  tell  the  truth  about  their
experiences,   feelings,  knowledge,  ignorance,  feeling,
numbness,  beliefs, doubts, hopes, despairs, faith,  care,
indifference,  etc.  Everything becomes one confusing mess
as the collusion reigns supreme.

     Jack  and  Jill do not know who they are,  what  they
want,  what they feel, what they believe,  what they fear,
who  they  can  trust,  etc.  Their game  of  mutual  self
deception  has  progressively so confused them  that  they
have no self identity, no self esteem, no self confidence,
no hope for their future,  no ground for being themselves;
because there is no self which is truly real.

     If   we  are  not  true  to  our  real   experiences,
feelings,  convictions, knowledge, etc.  then we gradually
cease  to be real to our selves and to others.  If we  are
not  true to our perceptions of those near and dear to us,
then they gradually cease to be real to themselves and  to
us.

     If we do not give each other the freedom to be secure
in  being true with us,  then we lose our security and our
reality.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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