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 %ANTAGONIST DEFENSIVE IDEALS VALUES RELAX TRANQUIL 890707

     Many  people have habits of mind and heart which  are
fundamentally antagonistic, defensive; prone to attack.

     Such  people  often cannot trust anybody.   Deep down
they  do not feel that people can be  trust-worthy.   They
feel  that it is their duty to be on the defensive at  all
times.  They cannot relax.  They cannot enjoy tranquility.
They cannot be at peace. They are always at war in one way
or another.

     Such   people   often   work   in   terms   of   some
rationalization  of how they feel.  They  can  rationalize
their attitudes; their habits of mind and heart. They have
intellectual   justifications   for  their  feelings   and
attitudes.   They  believe  that  their   rationalizations
justify how the feel and behave.  They believe that  their
attitudes  follow  logically from their  rationalizations,
not vice versa.

     It   is   dangerous  to   let   such   disintegrative
rationalizations  lead us into disintegrative patterns  of
thought  and  feeling.   It is important  to  be  able  to
recognize    the   disintegrative   character   of    such
rationalizations,  to detach from them,  and to focus upon
more integrative considerations.  Without such  detachment
we  are unlikely to enjoy tranquility,  peace,   security,
relaxation, shalom.

     We  can make the mistake of being too defensive  with
regards  to  antagonists and defensive people.  We may  be
preoccupied  with such people and become like them in  our
efforts  to defend ourselves against their excesses.  This
is why detachment of an appropriate form is essential.  It
does  no  good to be preoccupied with that from  which  we
need  to  be  detached.  Preoccupation does  not  lead  to
detachment of a constructive sort.

     We  need  to seek the roots of such antagonistic  and
defensive  behaviors,   and  we  may  find  them  in   our
dysfunctional  families  of  origin,  and  echoed  in  the
dysfunctional families within ourselves.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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