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%ESSENTIAL MYSTERY MIRACLE INTEGRITY ADDICT CONTROL 890619

     The  essential  mysteries of  meaningful  integrative
lives  are  offensive  to  people  who  are  addicted   to
analysis, understanding, manipulation and control.

     The  essence of integrative meaningful lives can  not
be analyzed,  understood,  manipulated or controlled;  for
the miracles which are at the heart of real living do  not
yield to the compulsive analysis of addicts,  nor do  they
yield  to efforts to achieve self respect through  perfect
control.

     The   failure  of  addicts'   efforts   to   analyze,
understand,  and control meaningful lives is offensive  to
addicts;   because  such  failures  expose  the  collusive
dishonesty  of the addicts'  paradigm.    Protecting  that
dishonesty  is  to them apparently essential to  achieving
security  and meaningful fulfillment.   Anyone who exposes
their  collusive dishonesty is a threat to  their  brittle
sense of security.

     Thus  it is that addicts (and those codependents  who
help them survive as addicts)  often do not learn from the
very  people  who are able to offer to them real  help  by
being serene examples of living with meaningful integrity.

     Addicts  cannot begin to travel the road to  recovery
from  their dis-ease until they acknowledge the nature  of
their  dilemma  to themselves and to others.   So long  as
they  persist  in  their traditional habits  of  mind  and
heart, they are trapped in the prison made by those habits
of mind and heart.   To escape their prison they must make
some changes in their habits of mind and heart.

     Change   is   threatening  to   addicts   and   their
codependents.    Any  change  is threatening,   for  their
paradigm  is  brittle and cannot  bend  without  breaking.
There  is  no room for flexibility because  the  dishonest
images  of  their collusions can be held together only  by
carefully protecting each and every carefully  constructed
bit  of dishonesty in the puzzle.   The  dishonest  pieces
will fit together neatly in only one way. There is no room
for flexibility and bending. It is a full time job to make
it  look  like  the  puzzle has  been  put  together  with
integrity.

     People  who  demonstrate  personal  integrity  are  a
threat  to  the  appearance of integrity in  the  addicts'
puzzled lives.  Really being present with such integrative
people must be avoided at all costs,  no matter how  great
the costs may grow to be.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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