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%IRRITABLE JACK BLAME OTHERS SELF REACTION ATTITUDE 890614

     Jack's  habits  of  mind and heart  lead  him  to  be
irritable.   It is Jack's attitude that what other  people
do  causes him to be irritable.   In his perception it  is
other  people's  actions  which  are  the  cause  of   his
irritation and the logical conclusion is that other people
should  stop  doing things which irritate him.    Jack  is
operating  in an objective paradigm of cause and effect in
which  causes  and  effects  are  perceived  as  objective
realities;   and no perceptive consideration are given  to
subjective  realities  which play essential roles  in  the
total picture.

     Jack  does not perceive his habits of mind and  heart
as subjective realities which set the stage for his  being
irritated by what other people do.  Jack does not perceive
that by modest changes in his habits of mind and heart  he
might  be less irritated by what other people do,  and  be
able to live a life with more serenity and tranquility.

     Jack describes to others what will happen if they  do
what  he fears that they may do.   He says he will  become
irritated  and probably become very upset.   Jack honestly
believes that he is merely describing a probable course of
objective  events  which will happen if others do  foolish
things.   Jack's "description"  is received as a threat by
others  who fear Jack and they respond to his  description
as a threat, and try to avoid irritating Jack by trying to
avoid doing things which irritate Jack.

     Jack  continues  to be irritated because there is  no
finite  set  of objective causes which are  the  cause  of
Jack's irritability.  People can try as they will to avoid
irritating  Jack  by  avoiding those  actions  which  have
irritated  Jack in the past.   Yet,  what  irritates  Jack
changes  because  the irritation is not in  the  objective
realities  as  much as it is in the symbolism  which  Jack
assigns to objective realities.

     Jack  is  dependent upon others and resents the  fact
that he is dependent upon others. Jack is addicted in ways
which  makes  him  dependent  upon  his  codependents  who
support  him when he does not take care of himself.   Jack
controls   others   through  his  dependency   and   their
compulsive   rescues   of  him  when  he  presents   great
dependency;   but Jack resents his dependency.    Jack  is
irritated  by  whatever happens which reminds him  of  his
dependency;   if it is not one thing,  it is another thing
which  reminds him of his dependency.   His whole life  is
full of reminders of his great dependency which is the key
to  his ability to control others.   Jack is irritated  by
his  codependent's actions because most of them remind him
of his great dependency.

     It  is  not the particular actions  of  others  which
irritate  Jack;   it is his dependent habits of  mind  and
heart  which  set  the stage for his  being  irritated  by
actions which remind him of his great dependency.  Jack is
irritable  because  he is playing the  addictive/collusive
game of being in control through manipulative  dependency.
Jack's codependents cannot help but irritate Jack by being
his  codependents  who  rescue  him  and  make  him   more
dependent.    All of these considerations become of  major
significance   if  Jack  has  great  power  in  political,
business,   educational,   religious,   or other  type  of
institutional setting.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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