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 %HUG SEX AFFECTION DESIRE WANT GIFT ACCEPT CONTROL 890601

     It  is  important  to  recognize  and  describe   the
integrative   and  disintegrative  consequences   of   the
behaviors  which may be pointed to by calling attention to
all the various combinations of:

           (wants, desires, duties,
       responsibilities, expectations)

              WITH REGARDS TO

   (gifts, reception, acceptance, exchange,
sale, acquiring, getting, ownership, control)

                      OF

      (affection, intimacy, hugs, sex).

     There   are  up  to  one  hundred  eighty  meaningful
combinations  of  these words.   Not all combinations  are
necessarily  meaningful  and/or  different.    Yet  it  is
dangerous to fail be aware of and describe the integrative
and/or  disintegrative character of those processes  which
may  be pointed to by the meaningful combinations  of  the
words.

     As  is often the case it is more helpful to  describe
the  disintegrative consequences of some forms of behavior
than it is to try to prescribe what should be regarded  as
integrative behavior.   Prescribing proper behavior  often
entails  disintegrative consequences.   It is  often  more
difficult   to  describe  integrative   behavior   without
slipping into being prescriptive/coercive.

     Human  processes  are likely to be disintegrative  if
they   entail   (coercive,   manipulative,    violent   or
unilateral)    kinds   of   (wants,    desires,    duties,
responsibilities, or expectations.)

     Human  processes are likely to be  disintegrative  if
they entail (wants,  desires, duties,  responsibilities or
expectations)    of  control  over  (gifts,    receptions,
acceptance,   exchange,   sale,   acquisition,    getting,
ownership,   or  control)   of various forms  of  personal
(affection, intimacy, hugs, or sex).

     Confusion regarding important differences tends to be
disintegrative,   for when in a state of confusion  it  is
impossible  to  make  wise  decisions  or  to  learn  from
experiencing the consequences of mistakes previously made.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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