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 %HONEST CONTROL FEELING AFFECTION EXPERIENCE WHOLE 890521

     It is helpful to consider the details of a process of
trying to control feelings, affections and experiences.

     If  someone  was  trying to  control  your  feelings,
affections  and  experiences,   how readily could  you  be
honest  with  them?  Would you be likely to feel that  you
could  take the risk of trusting them?  Would they be able
to control how you felt about them trying to control  your
feelings?   Could  they control your  experience  of  them
trying to control you? Could they control how you felt and
thought  about  that  experience,   and  you  still   have
integrity?

     Attempts  to control human feelings,  affections  and
experiences lead to the inhibition of honest expression of
human  feelings and affections;  and to the inhibition  of
honest revelations of human experiences.  Such inhibitions
of honesty cannot be controlled.

     Attempts  to be in control of people undermine  human
honesty.  The notion of "honest control of people"  is  an
oxymoron.   This  is  why "military intelligence"   is  an
oxymoron.

     The  military has to do with trying to control  other
people  through  violence  and  the  threat  of  violence.
Military  behavior  thus tends toward  the  inhibition  of
honest expression of human feelings and affections; and to
the inhibition of honest revelations of human experiences.
In  the  context  generated by military  behavior  genuine
intelligence  is impossible.  Behavior based upon military
intelligence is thus misguided and destructive.

     There  are  also  major  difficulties  in  trying  to
honestly  control  your  own  feelings,   affections   and
experiences  so that they conform to some external  and/or
internalized set of expectations.

     The   concept  of  control  presumes  some   external
criteria.   The notion of trying to control your own  self
presumes  that  the external criteria does not conform  to
your  internal  nature and desires.  The problem  of  self
honestly  will thus parallel the problem of  interpersonal
honesty in situations of interpersonal control.  Trying to
control  your  own feelings,  affections  and  experiences
leads to personal disintegration through the inhibition of
self honesty.  Self control involves self violence,   self
deception,  and collusive games of mutual self  deception.
The  notion of honest self control is an oxymoron and is a
misleading notion.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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