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  %REASONS REJECT ALIENATE EXCLUDE DIALOGUE COMMUNE 890505

     The  personal and communal integrity of  a  community
depends   upon  what  reasons  the  community  accepts  as
reasonable grounds for rejecting members of the  community
from dialogue.

     It is important to recognize the difference  between,
on  the  one hand,  honestly and charitably confronting  a
member  of  a  community with  regard  to  behavior  which
threatens the integrity of the community; and on the other
hand, dishonestly rejecting a member of a community due to
behavior  which offends/embarrasses members the  community
for some reason.

     True confrontation is a call for honesty in dialogue,
and  can  lead  to the integration of the  person  who  is
confronted, into the community of dialogue.  Confrontation
(with face to face meetings) is a continuing relationship,
not a one-time action.

     Rejection is a termination of dialogue,  and leads to
the disintegration of the person who is rejected;  and  to
the disintegration of the community which alienates one of
its members through rejection.

     The  nature  of  the disintegrative  processes  of  a
community  thus depends upon what the community  considers
to  be  adequate  grounds  for  initiating  disintegrative
processes.  Many communities regard the violation of  long
standing  traditions  as adequate grounds  for  initiating
disintegrative procedures.  They have only informal unjust
procedures  for deciding when to  initiate  disintegrative
procedures.

     Other    communities   have   instituted    elaborate
legal/judicial  procedures by which to decide when  it  is
appropriate  to initiate disintegrative procedures through
a  penal  system.   They seek to be  careful  to  initiate
disintegrative  procedures against only those who  deserve
to be disintegrated.

     Few  communities  recognize  that the  initiation  of
disintegrative  procedures  is a reflexive  process  which
leads   to  the  disintegration  of  the  community  which
initiates the disintegrative procedures.

     A  community  can not disintegrate  its  own  members
without  thereby disintegrating itself.  Rejection of  any
member  of a community is a reflexive act on the  part  of
the community; leading to communal disintegration.

     Communities    do   need  to  confront  honestly  the
dishonest behavior of members of the community;  doing  so
in continuing dialogue.

     Communities  do  need to confront the  dishonesty  of
addicts,   codependents and colluders of the community who
through  their  behavior  threaten the  integrity  of  the
community.   The  games of mutual self deception  of  such
people  are  a  serious  threat to the  integrity  of  the
community.   Such games need to be confronted honestly and
revealed  for  what they are;  regardless of the level  of
respectability of the players of the games.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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