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       %FREEDOM COMPULSION DENY OTHERS AFFIRMATIONS 890426

     Jack   feels   compelled  to  deny   other   persons'
affirmations  because  he  fears that  if  other  persons'
affirmations  are perceived as meriting respect,  it  will
necessarily   follow  that  his  affirmations  could   not
possibly be perceived as meriting respect.

     Jack   believes   that  affirmations   are   mutually
exclusive. Getting affirmations respected is a competitive
either-or-situation.

     Jack  has  enemies because he believes that  for  his
affirmations  to merit respect it is necessary that  other
persons'   affirmations not merit respect.  Jack  can  not
conceive of the possibility of people's affirmations being
mutually  complementary.  Both teams in a competition  can
not win the game; one team must lose for the other team to
win. How could it be otherwise?

To  Jack  gaining respect for personal affirmations  is  a
competitive game. Jack feels that the only way he can earn
self  respect is to win in the competition to gain others'
respect for his affirmations.  To Jack this means that all
other people must lose,  for him to win; there can be only
one winner in a competition. It is impossible for it to be
otherwise!

     Jack  is insecure as a loser.   Jack feels  that  his
security  will be sure when he is the only winner  in  the
competition for respect towards his affirmations. Jack can
not  feel  secure unless he is the one winner  who  is  in
total control,  exercising unlimited power. To feel secure
Jack feels he must have unlimited power.

     There are many Jack's in the world,  and they are all
in competition with each other to exercise unlimited power
as the means to winning for themselves the security  which
they  covet.  They all feel insecure so long as  they  are
less than the single winner in each competition.

     Jack  does not know or understand the nature of  true
security.

     Security entails freedom from the compulsion to  deny
other people's affirmations;  freedom from the competitive
compulsion  to  be  the author of  the  only  affirmations
regarded as worthy of respect.

     So  long  as Jack believes that he cannot  be  secure
until he has unlimited power,  so long others will not  be
secure  in Jack's presence.  It is important to give  Jack
the true security which he needs to have, in order that he
may  be  freed from the compulsion to deny other  people's
affirmations.

     Only as we give each other true security can we enjoy
true security ourselves.  We cannot achieve true  security
for ourselves without giving it as a gift to our enemies.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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