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 %CENTRAL ISSUE QUESTIONS CONFLICT RESOLUTION VALUE 890325

     Central to each conflict is an issue, a question over
which people engage in battles of affirmation and denial.

     Conflicts  persist so long as the issue is whether or
not denial is essential to affirmation.  Is it possible to
fully affirm one truth without denial of its complementary
opposite? Fanatics say no. Lovers say yes.

     Conflicts  are resolved by Love which finds  ways  of
saying   Yes  to  affirmations,   without  saying  No   to
complimentary affirmations.

     The  essence  of an affirmation does not lie  in  the
denial  of complimentary affirmations.  The essence of  an
affirmation  lies  in finding ways of joining with  others
who  affirm  complimentary affirmation  in  affirming  the
creative  resolution of the apparent conflicts between the
complimentary forms of truth.

     Central to each conflict is the issue of how to state
the questions around which the conflict revolves.  If  the
central  question  is the question of winning and  losing,
the  conflict  continues.  If the central question is  the
question of integrative synthesis through cooperation, the
conflict is resolved.

     Lovers  find ways of cooperating so that they all win
in  transcending  their conflicts by asking  questions  in
integrative ways.

     Combatants  perpetually  try to win at the expense of
their enemies.

     Lovers  and  combatants each find  their  meaning  in
their chosen ways of approaching conflicts.

     Lovers build communities with integrity.

     Combatants disintegrate communities  with fanaticisms
which deny complimentary affirmations.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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