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 %TRAGIC IDEALS VALUES UNDERMINE PERSONAL INTEGRITY 890306

     In tragic ways the ideals, values and technologies of
the  collusive  community conspire to  undermine  personal
integrity  which  might  expose the games of  mutual  self
deception   which   are  essential  to   maintaining   the
appearance of communal integrity.

     In  a  collusive community addicts  and  codependents
point  away from themselves in ways which make  themselves
appear  to be the center of all that they regard as  real.
In  a similar way their misleading truths point away  from
themselves  in ways which make the misleading pointings to
become  the center of people's concerns,  and so worthy of
the   ultimate   sacrifices  of  personal   and   communal
integrity.

     Real  truths can be masked so as to point  away  from
themselves and so become misleading truths which are false
to  their own being.  Addicts and codependents become  the
incarnations  of such misleading truths and the defense of
such  misleading  truths becomes their  ultimate  concern.
Their  defense  is  of ultimate  importance  because  such
misleading  truths are ultimately vulnerable to people  of
integrity whose power is derived from their integrity.

     The misleading truths of a collusive community need a
great  deal  of  defense to  survive.   Their  defense  is
ultimately  very difficult because they cannot be defended
truthfully   with  personal  integrity.   The  defense  of
misleading truths must be by indirection and by misleading
behaviors  which  make people take the  misleading  truths
seriously.

     Too much coercion and people will rebel.   Not enough
coercion  and people will not be properly misled.  It is a
tight-rope-walking  act!  The act generates much  anxiety,
fear,   apprehension,  nervousness,  dis-ease,  crisis and
excitement!

     Addicts and codependents find their excitement in the
defense  of their misleading truths.  Such  defense  gives
meaning  to their lives which would otherwise appear to be
meaningless  because they have been taught that  they  can
not own their own being:  their desires, fears,  thoughts,
feelings, opinions, etc.

     The  roots  of addiction and codependence are  to  be
found  in what children of addicts and  codependents  have
been  taught  about owning their own being.   Children  of
addicts  and  codependents  have been taught  that  to  be
accepted  they must put on an act of deception;  it is not
acceptable to be open and honest about their own  desires,
fears,  thoughts, feelings, opinions, etc.  They have been
taught  that  dishonesty  is a  prerequisite  to  personal
acceptance.   The question of life is what  techniques  of
dishonesty  will  bring  the  most  gratifying  forms   of
dishonest  acceptance.   The possibility of  personal  and
communal integrity is unthinkable, and so not the topic of
conversation which might lead to conversion and salvation;
i.e., to liberation from the collusions of their addictive
and codependent communities.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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