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   %SEX SIN TABOO COLLUSION GUILT ALIENATE VIOLENCE 890120

     If  the  approach to sexual experiences  is  lead  by
taboos,  collusions,  guilt and shame;  the consequence is
alienation and violence.

     Sexual  experiences  are lead by  the  attitudes  and
concepts   with   which  they  are   approached.    Sexual
experiences  are  not  objective  realities  which   exist
independently of the participants in the experiences.

     It   is   collusively  dishonest  to   treat   sexual
experiences  as objective realities which are  independent
of   the  approach  of  those  who  consider  them.    The
traditional  scientific  approach  is not  an  integrative
approach  to sexuality;  it will not lead to understanding
in   the   realm   of  sexual   experiences.    Scientific
understanding  is  dominated  by  efforts  to  understand,
predict  and  control.   An integrative  understanding  of
sexual  experiences  is not characterized  by  efforts  to
predict and control sexual experiences.  The nature of the
understanding  and  the  import of  the  understanding  is
different.

     If  the  approach  to sexual experiences is  lead  by
efforts  to  predict and control sexual  experiences  then
taboos,   collusions and guilt are the consequences,   and
they lead towards alienation and violence.

     If  the  approach  to sexual experiences is  lead  by
honest  and  thoughtful  considerations  of  personal  and
communal  integrity,   then  it is  possible  that  sexual
experiences  will become integrative experiences which are
the  foundations  for  personal  and  communal  integrity.
Sexuality is fundamentally integrative; but when sexuality
is  lead  by  efforts to predict and control  through  the
actions  of  collusions,   taboos  and  guilt;   then  the
experiences  of sexuality all too often become alienative,
violent and disintegrative.

     If  the approach to sexuality leads people to  regard
sexuality as sinful,  evil,  bad, questionable, etc.  then
there  are  tendencies to play collusive games  of  mutual
self  deception regarding sexual experiences.  Given  that
approach,   honesty is difficult if not impossible.  Given
that  approach  there  tends to be  a  preoccupation  with
pejorative  labels  which are alienative.   That  approach
undermines  honest considerations of personal and communal
integrity and it becomes difficult for sexual  experiences
to be integrative experiences.  Given that approach sexual
experiences tend to become disintegrative.

     The  nature  of sexuality depends  greatly  upon  the
spirit  in  which  sexual experiences are  approached  and
understood.   If sexuality is approached prayerfully,   it
takes on an integrative nature. If sexuality is approached
without  prayer,   it takes on a  dis-integrative  nature.
Sexuality is not an objective reality which is independent
of  the nature of the approach to it.  It is dishonest  to
overtly  or  tacitly  pretend  otherwise  in   approaching
sexuality.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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