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   %SAY YES WITH INTEGRITY BEING WHOLE IN COMMUNITY 881111

     Saying "yes" with integrity to one's participating in
being and doing is an essential aspect of being whole in a
coherent  community with integrity.   It is essential that
"yes" be said by self and others in community and in self.

     Fragmented  participation involves fragmented  selves
and   others  saying  both  "yes"   and  "no"   to   their
participation  in being and doing.   Fragmented selves  do
not know themselves or others in their being who they are,
and  do not say "YES"  to who they know themselves to  be.
They  are torn in their efforts to pass judgement upon who
they  are and what they do.   They cannot say "YES"   with
their  whole being.   They are preoccupied with  acquiring
conformal   self  esteem  rather  than  with  being  whole
together.

     Authentic  self esteem is not a possession which  can
be owned, it is a gift which is given.  Self esteem cannot
be acquired, it is received as a gift.  Self esteem cannot
be earned, it is given.  Self esteem cannot be merited, it
is given without conditions.   Self esteem is not a thing,
it is a way of being whole in a whole community.

     People  who lack self esteem often seek to substitute
for authentic self esteem by acquiring possessions to own,
control,  give, receive, and merit.   Their efforts do not
satisfy in  a  meaningful  way.   There is pleasure in the
giving  and  receiving  of  self  esteem which can not  be
controlled.    There  is little pleasure in acquiring  and
owning things which can be controlled.

     We can with integrity say "YES" to the pleasure which
is one with giving and receiving self esteem.   We  cannot
with  integrity say yes to the pleasure which is sought in
the  acquisition  and  owning  of  things  which  can   be
controlled.

     To all say "YES"  with  integrity to communal sharing
of  self esteem is to be a  community  with integrity.  To
strive   for  the  perverted  pleasures  of   acquisition,
ownership,   control,   and barter leads to  personal  and
communal disintegration.

     To say "NO"  judgmentally to efforts to gain pleasure
through acquisition, ownership, control and barter is part
of an effort to acquire  self esteem through comparison of
self with others.   Comparisons which  make self look good
to   self,    and  others  to  look  bad  to  self,    are
disintegrative comparisons.  One cannot with integrity say
"YES"  to such comparisons because they are disintegrative
comparisons.

     Often the comparisons of ethics, morality,  legalism,
etiquette,   propriety,   and diplomacy are made  for  the
purpose  of looking good to self and others without saying
"YES"   with integrity to others as whole  people.    Such
comparison are not the essence of being whole, and are not
essential  to  being whole.   Such comparisons  are  often
aspects  of the disintegrative processes of people who  do
not  give self esteem by saying "YES"  with  integrity  to
each other's being who they are.   They are disintegrating
while trying to  conform  to artificial human conceptions,
rather being whole in the realization of who they are with
integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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