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%FREEDOM FROM CONTROL OF IMPRESSIONS BY CODEPENDENT 880923

     Codependents  feel a responsibility to be in  control
of impressions in order to take proper care of the  people
who  are  in  their care.   They care  about  such  people
greatly,   and take great care to be generous care givers.
They  are so generous with their care-giving that they  do
not take enough care of themselves to be authentic people.

     The  responsibility to control impressions is tied to
an impression of what impressions others should be  given.
In a collusive society the impression that authenticity is
important  is taboo.   Such an impression would  undermine
the collusion.

     In  a collusive society the impression is that  there
are  proper  impressions which should be  achieved.    The
responsibility  to  manage  impressions  pertains  to  the
impression  that there are certain impressions  which  are
good,   and  other impressions which are evil.   One  must
control  impressions to be sure that they are  impressions
of goodness for self and friends,  and impressions of evil
for  the enemy and suspicious others about whom one cannot
be sure.

     Salvation   from   the  prison  of   the   collusive,
addictive,   codependent,  technocratic  society  involves
release  from  the  impression  that one  has  a  need  or
responsibility  to be in control of impressions  according
to some prescription.

     Whenever  a  community  accepts the notion  that  the
essence  of goodness is conformity to prescribed  patterns
of  behavior  in certain situations,  the members  of  the
community  are made  vulnerable to being controlled.    If
human behavior  is  prescribed in certain situations,  the
controller only needs to create the prescribed   situation
to elicit  the  prescribed behavior;   or  just create the
impression   that  the  situation  exists  to  elicit  the
prescribed behavior.

     Any  set  of behavior prescriptions is  bound  to  be
inadequate;  failing  to  take  into  account all possible
unique situations.   The manipulator can devise situations
which are unique and from  the set of  prescriptions  will
elicit the desired response or the part of  the compulsive
legalist,    even  though  the  prescribed   response   is
disintegrative in ways which are to  the  advantage of the
manipulator.     Legalists   set  themselves  up   to   be
manipulated  by selfish people  who transcend  the  narrow
vision of legalists.

     If  goodness has to do with achieving impressions  of
conformity to a legal code then authenticity is  not worth
much.   Impressions are then more important than authentic
being who one really  is.    Openness  and honesty are not
consistent  with compulsive presentation  of  conventional
impressions.   People become trapped in the   process   of
trying to  control  impressions.  Members  of a collusive,
addictive,   codependent  society  need to become free  of
their imprisoning paradigm.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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