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       %COMMUNAL GROUNDS FOR SELF ACCEPTANCE ESTEEM 880901

     Each  community is characterized by the  implications
of  the grounds which the community offers to its  members
for self acceptance and self esteem.

     When    communities    regard   their   members    as
unconditionally worthy  of  acceptance  in dialogue, their
self esteem is supported by such acceptance.

     When  communities  threaten to excommunicate  members
who  fail  to conform to prescribed patterns  of  feeling,
thought  and behavior;  the self esteem of the members  is
undermined,  and perverted patterns  of behavior undermine
the integrity of the members and the community.

     When  acceptance  into dialogue is  conditional  upon
prescribed  forms  of  conformity,   insecurity  leads  to
personal  and  communal disintegration.   Security is  the
freedom to be vulnerable.  Insecurity is the fear of being
harmed  when   vulnerable.    Conditional acceptance  into
communal dialogue leads to  insecurity, defensiveness  and
violence;   in  reaction  to  the  violence   inherent  in
conditional acceptance into dialogue.

     Conditional acceptance into communal dialogue clearly
carries  the  threat of possible exclusion  from  communal
dialogue.    The  implicit threat  of  possible  exclusion
undermines  security,   and leads to  defensive  behaviors
which further undermine the security of the community, and
so the  vicious  cycle  of disintegrative reactions begins
and   continues  unless  halted  by  powerful  integrative
behaviors.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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