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              %COPING WITH NONOBJECTIVE EXPERIENCES 880630

     Experiences  relating  to nonobjective realities  are
nonobjective  experiences  and  can  not  be   understood,
predicted  or  controlled in the same way  as  experiences
relating to objective realities.

     Even  experiences relating to objective realities are
not  fully objective in character,  yet certain aspects of
such   experiences  can  be  understood,   predicted   and
controlled  in  the  manner of the  objective  scientists.
Coping  with  the experience of a wounded finger  is  more
objective  than  coping with the experience of  a  wounded
ego.

     People need to learn how to cope with both  objective
experiences   and  nonobjective  experiences;   and   need
affective  help  in learning how to cope effectively  with
all experiences.  Part of learning how to cope is learning
how  to deal with the fact that there are different  kinds
of  experiences which require different styles of  coping.
Any  person who tries to cope with all different kinds  of
experiences  in  the  same  style  of  coping,   will   be
frustrated  due    to    lack   of    objective    success
and   missing significance/meaning.

     One may hope for and often expect to be successful in
coping with objective experiences;  e.g., plan how to gain
some  control over the experience and carry out  the  plan
successfully.

     One  may  hope for and often look forward to  finding
meaning  and significance within a communal  context  when
confronted  with nonobjective experiences;  e.g.,  through
conversations and other communications put the experiences
within  a significant communal context which gives to  the
experiences   meaning and makes it possible to cope   with
them in spite of the disappointments,  pain,  frustration,
anxiety, fear, etc. which are associated with them.

     People  who  are confused regarding the varieties  of
experiences which they need to cope with,  and who seek to
deal  with  experiences  in manners inappropriate  to  the
kinds  of  experiences,  are not likely to  be  successful
and/or find meaning in their lives.   People who are clear
in  their minds,  bodies and souls about the varieties  of
experiences  may  serve  as holistic role models  to  help
other people to learn how to cope with all kinds of  human
experiences  in ways which lead towards both personal  and
communal integrity.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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