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     %RESPECT PEOPLES DESIRES EXPERIENCES IMPORTANT 880519

     Healthy   interpersonal  relationships  depend   upon
mutual   respect   for  each  other's  personal   desires,
interests, concerns, experiences, etc. as being important.
Preoccupations with  standards  for  respectable  desires,
interests,    concerns,    experiences,    etc.   tend  to
undermine      the      quality     of       interpersonal
relationships.       Such preoccupations  undermine   open
and   honest  dialogue  about personal   experiences   and
what  can   be  learned  through  conversations  regarding
actual personal experiences.

     An exclusive respect for conventional  definitions of
what  is  worthy  of  respect  leads  to  alienation  from
authentic personal experiences, from each other,  and from
authentic  meetings  in  which  conversation  can  convert
people  from  narrow   conceptions   of    respectability,
to   broader    conceptions   of  interdependent  personal
and communal integrity.

   If   people's   desires,   interests,    concerns   and
experiences  are  not  regarded  as  important  foci   for
attention, they tend to be ignored; and perhaps repressed.
Such   behavior  leads  to  both  personal  and   communal
disintegration. If people's desires,  interests,  concerns
and experiences are regarded  as  important  only  in  the
light  of   conventional definitions;    conventions  tend
to    push  openness  and  honesty  aside,   because  they
threaten respected collusions and traditions.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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