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         %ADDICTION CODEPENDENCE IS A STATE OF MIND 880310

     Addiction  is  a frame of mind, a mind set, a pattern
of thought, a set of unchanging attitudes and assumptions.
Addiction  is a habit  of feeling and thinking about  self
and  others.  People  who are trapped in addictive ways of
thinking   have  similar  sincere  beliefs  about    human
relationships  and  attitudes  towards relating to others.
Their  lives  are  guided by certain convictions about the
nature of reality and their place in the scheme of things.
They are often intelligent, successful, respected.

     People  who are trapped in addictive ways of thinking
do have ideals and values; they are often idealists trying
hard  to fulfill their  ideals.  They are usually sincere;
i.e.,      they    are   usually  not   consciously    and
deliberately deceptive and dishonest.   However,   that is
not their whole story.  They are not aware of their  whole
story.

     People who are trapped in addictive ways of  thinking
are often anything but honest with themselves.   They  are
trapped in patterns of self deception;  perhaps  with  the
help of others who are trapped in the same game of  mutual
self deception. The British psychiatrist R.D. Laing  calls
such  games  of  mutual  self  deception   by   the   name
"collusion". By naming the game we can more  easily  think
about and talk about the game, more easily recognize  when
such a game is  being  played.   Addicts  are  trapped  in
collusive games of mutual  self  deception.   They  invite
others  to  play their collusive games with them; i.e., to
join  in  the  game  of mutual self deception.  Joining is
often both respectable and deadly.

     Many people who join in the addictive games of mutual
self deception  do  so  as  codependents;  i.e., as people
playing the role of helper to the addicts. The codependent
helps  the addicts play the game by compensating for their
inability  to  cope  while  actively  playing  the game of
mutual  self deception.    Slowly  the  codependent   gets
into  the  game of mutual self deception,  and codependent
upon  the  addict  to help  sustain  the  self  deception.
Addicts  and codependents  are  mutually codependent  upon
each   other  to  maintain  the  self  deception.    Their
interdependence  is  not healthy,  it   undermines   their
integrity---splitting   them internally,      from    each
other,    and   from   their community. They disintegrate,
and promote communal disintegration.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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