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      %ADVERSARIAL ADDICTION TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION 880130

     Addicts and co-dependents may be bonded to each other
in  a  adversarial conflict which meets their joint  needs
for  an  intimate process to fill  their  otherwise  empty
lives.    People  whose lives are empty,  meaningless  and
devoid  of positive feelings may turn upon each  other  in
adversarial conflict in a desperate search for an intimate
process  to  give some meaning and focus to  their  lives.
For them conflicts are not to be transcended and resolved,
but realities to be cultivated and controlled to fill each
other's  needs  in a co-dependent relationship  of  mutual
hate/love.    Such co-dependents and addicts can not  find
meaning and satisfaction apart from their conflict.   They
cannot give up their conflicts,  even when their conflicts
are  undermining  their personal and  communal  integrity.
They  are  addicted  to conflict with each  other  as  the
process  which  provides both stimulation and  numbing  of
feelings and emotions.

     People  who  are addicted to conflict do not seek  to
resolve conflicts.  They seek to control conflicts to meet
their  distorted and confused sense of need.   They  adopt
tacit  rules  of  conflict  promotion  which   dishonestly
pretend to seek to promote peace;  but they do so in  ways
which   nurture   the  continuation  of  the   fundamental
conflicts which provide the stimulus,  the fixes,  and the
meaning which is otherwise missing from their lives.  They
can  not  be  honest with each other  about  the  ultimate
ideals and values which they ostensibly seek to serve, nor
about the actual consequences of how they choose to  serve
their ultimate ideals and values.   They can not be honest
with   each  other  about  their  experiences,   thoughts,
feelings, beliefs, doubts, desires, etc.   Their lives are
lived  in states of mutually sustained confusion and  self
deception.

     People  who are addicted to conflict seek to maintain
each  other's  state of confusion,  because clarity  about
their  processes of conflict would undermine their way  of
finding  meaning and satisfaction;  it would expose  their
collusive  processes of mutual self deception,   and  lead
them  into the terror of becoming fully conscious of their
own  internal health-seeking processes,  and would  expose
how  their  honest internal processes would contrast  with
their external processes of mutual self deception.   Quiet
meditation  must be avoided at all cost,  perhaps  through
prescriptive  programs of devotional readings which  guide
thoughts along safe paths of self righteousness to assured
states   of   religiously   guaranteed   salvation,    via
appropriate  sacrifices to institutional religious  groups
and their leaders.

     Religious  groups may label themselves explicitly  as
being religious.   They may also pretend to be other  than
religious in character;  choosing instead to fly the flags
of  their respective nations,  professions,   work-places,
political viewpoints, scientific paradigms, etc.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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