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           %INTEGRATIVE CONTEXT FOR SEXUAL DIALOGUE 871208

     It is difficult to integrate sexuality into  personal
and communal life without  an integrative  context  within
which    to   discuss   personal    sexual    experiences.
Abstractions are not the foundation for the integration of
sexuality   into   personal  and  communal   life.     The
foundations  for such integration are not to be  found  in
rules,  laws,   legalities,   moralities, ethics  or other
formalities which yield to abuses as grounds for rejection
and  alienation.    An  integrative  context  for   sexual
dialogue is essential.

     Sexual  dialogue  is  essentially  sexual,    because
sexuality  is   so  reflexive.       To  pretend   to   be
objective about  sexuality  is  to  evade consideration of
essential   aspects   of  sexuality,   and  so   to   miss
that   which    is   essential    to   open   and   honest
consideration   of sexuality.  Dishonesty  is  central  to
addictive    behavior    which      is     disintegrative.
Dishonesty  of any kind  sets precedent  for other   kinds
of   dishonesty.       Dishonesty about   personal  sexual
experiences  sets  precedent for  the dishonesty which  is
central to addictive behaviors.

     Dishonesty  is  not  limited to overt  statements  of
falsehoods  which  are intended to  mislead.     Selective
offering   of  true information  can  be  misleading,   as
can  selective  withholding  of true  information.     Any
pattern   of  behavior  which  persistently  misleads   is
dishonest   in  proportion  as those who are  misled   are
victims of  being misled,  and   have  little  opportunity
to   avoid   being  victimized  by being misled.     In an
integrative   context  for  sexual  dialogue   information
about  personal  sexual  experiences  need not be  offered
or withheld in misleading and / or selective ways.

Integrative   sexual   dialogue  gives  meaning   to
personal  sexual  experiences  by providing a  context  in
which  personal experiences can  be interpreted  and  make
sense  in  more than  sensory ways.    When  sexuality  is
isolated  from  the rest of communal  life,    it   cannot
make sense,   and  tends   to  become   just   sensory  in
disintegrative   ways.        The mandatory  privatization
of sexuality is  disintegrative because coercive  behavior
is   not  integrative   and    does    not  contribute  to
personal and communal integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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