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                  %SELF ACCEPTANCE ESTEEM INTEGRITY 871113

     Self acceptance is essential to personal and communal
integrity.

     If  Jill cannot  accept facts about herself which she
cannot   control,    she  cannot   with   integrity   deal
honestly and wisely with those facts of her life: her sex,
social stereotypes and pay scales, possible roles, etc.

     If  Jack cannot  accept facts about himself which  he
cannot  control, he cannot   with  integrity deal honestly
and wisely with those facts  of his life:  his training in
macho mentality, social stereotypes, possible roles, etc.

     Social  context  is  the matrix in which each  person
must  deal  with the problems  of  self acceptance.   When
others  do  not accept a person  due  to facts  about  the
person  over  which  the person has  no  control,   it  is
difficult  for  the person to accept those facts and  deal
with   them  honestly  and  wisely.   In  such  a  context
addictions which entail all kinds of dishonesty are likely
to  become  normal  in  collusive  games  of  mutual  self
deception.

     Self esteem is not  possible without self acceptance.
If Jill is rejected  by  others because of facts about her
over which she  can  not exercise  control,    Jill cannot
enjoy self esteem with normal communal integrity. Personal
integrity  and  communal integrity are interdependent  and
depend greatly upon  the  grounds  for personal acceptance
within the community.   If a community  demands conformity
as  the price  for personal acceptance,   it  is likely to
be  an  addictive  community full of dishonest people  who
cannot  meaningfully accept themselves or each other.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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