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                %CONFESSING ACCEPTANCE OF IMPOTENCE 870426

     People to whom it is ultimately important to  attempt
to  be  in  control  can  not accept  the  fact  of  their
impotence  to  control  their own lives or  the  lives  of
others.    They can not accept or confess their addictions
to  various presumed means to control:   alcohol,   drugs,
money,   spending,   food,   power,  work,  sex,  weapons,
defenses,  moralities,  ethics, etiquette, etc.   They can
not confess or accept their own alienation from others due
to  their  attempts  to  be  in control of  processes  and
relationships which are essentially beyond human control.

     Dis-eased people who are ill-at-ease with their  lack
of control can not become well and enjoy tranquility until
they  accept  and  internalize  a  view  of  life  and  of
themselves  within  which  they  have no  need  to  be  in
control.    They  need to detach themselves from views  of
life  in  which it is essential to always strive to be  in
control of self and others.  They need to learn that it is
not essential to attach  themselves to others as  a way of
gaining  control over them,  and that human  relationships
are  more  meaningful and fulfilling when people  are  not
attached  to  each  other in attempts to  be  in  control.
Detachment points to losing the need to be in control, not
to  becoming  indifferent and alienated.    Detachment  is
possible within a view of what it is to be  fully human, a
view which does not require humans to try to be in control
of  anybody.   People who enjoy their  fulfillment  within
such  a  view  gladly confess the freedom and  fulfillment
they find through the acceptance of their impotence to  be
in control of  human behavior,  and confess their findings
without a sense  of  loss,  guilt,  regret or frustration.
Their confessions are good news to those willing to accept
them as such.

     Power  to control is not gained by pretending to have
that which one does not have.  By confessing that one does
not have  power to control---one does  not  lose something
which  one  has.    There  is nothing to  lose  (but  self
deception)  in confessing that one does not have the power
to  be  in control.   There is much to be gained in  being
open and honest about how things really are.  One can then
deal  realistically  with  what one can do to move  toward
loving lives with communal and personal integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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