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              %ATTRACTIVENESS OF INTEGRITY OPENNESS 870304

     In   healthy  communities  people  of  integrity  are
attractive because of their  openness and  honesty.   They
elicit a sense of  security and willingness to be intimate
in  meaningful  interpersonal relationships.    With  them
there is no felt need  to  be defensive and keep the guard
on duty.  A physically pretty or handsome person  may  not
be personally attractive for lack of personal integrity.

     Some communities lack communal integrity and threaten
personal relationships which do have integrity.  Collusive
communities lack integrity; they play games of mutual self
deception   which  threaten  the  integrity  of   intimate
relationships of integrity among individuals of integrity.
Collusions  survive  by disintegrating  the  integrity  of
people/relationships  which  might  expose  the  dishonest
games  of  mutual self deception.   Thus the  acknowledged
communal     significance    of    integrative    personal
relationships  depends  upon  whether  or   not  they  are
threatened  by  collusive  games of mutual self deception.
People  of integrity may not be perceived as attractive by
participants in collusive games of mutual self  deception;
in the extreme case,  people of integrity may be perceived
as evil and worthy of disintegration.

     On the other hand,  sometimes people of integrity are
perceived as owning a magical power which is coveted,  and
an  effort  is made to get and use that power  in  abusive
ways.    Integrity  is perceived in a way which  makes  it
appear  to be something which can be owned and  controlled
to  personal advantage,  something which can be stolen and
used without respect  for  what is really  entailed in it.
Even  people who lack integrity sometimes find  themselves
attracted  by integrity,  but without a real  appreciation
for what it is.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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