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                      %ACCEPTED ROLE MODEL BEHAVIOR 861224

     When  an  obvious  truth  is  not  affirmed  by   the
behaviors   of  accepted role models ---   the  child   is
bound   to  wonder whether or not it is  safe   to  affirm
that obvious truth.   When upon affirming an obvious truth
Jack finds himself rejected,   Jack  concludes  that there
are  some  obvious   truths   which it is  not   safe   to
affirm.    Jack  learns  that it is important to know  the
difference  between obvious truths which it is  acceptable
to  affirm,   and  truths which it is  not  acceptable  to
affirm;   i.e.,     accepted  people  do  not affirm  some
obvious  and important truths. Jack learns that it is more
important to seek  acceptability,   than  it is to seek to
be  open  and honest  about  experiences and  perceptions.
Jack's   life  becomes  a contest  or game  to  be  played
according to rules which it is not acceptable to affirm as
proper to enforce.  As a child  Jack  learns from his role
models  how  to  play the games of mutual  self  deception
within    collusions   against   obvious   truths.     The
instructions are given by what is not done  and  said---in
circumstances  which a child would regard as  calling  for
that  which  is  obviously appropriate to   be  done   and
said.       The   failure  to  do   what   is    obviously
appropriate---calls   for  an  explanation;    the   child
figures  out  that there are rules which forbid the  doing
of   those  obvious   things which are  evident  in  their
absence---but only to the  child  who  has not yet  become
a  participant   in  collusions which  conceal.     It  is
somewhat like physicists who explain  what does not happen
in nature by inventing "laws of nature"  which forbid such
things from happening.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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