This is http://www.essayz.com/a8612191.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ENABLING DEPENDENT COMPLAINERS 861219 Some people like to complain about how they are victims of circumstances which appear to them to be beyond their control. They are complemented by other kinds of people who like to enable and be helpful. By being enablers the latter encourage the former to complain and be helpless dependents who---are addicted to enablers and other factors which them remain dependent victims of their uncontrolled circumstances. Often addicts choose not to see what they might do for themselves to be less the dependent victim. Often enablers choose not to see what they should not do for their dependents---to help them become more independently mature and able to take care of themselves. The two kinds of people develop a relationship of mutual dependence and perverse needs. The dependent victim seems to need the help of the enabler. The enabler seems to need the dependency of the dependent victim. Such relationships of perverse interdependency can grow over a period of time in ways which are not perceived by the participants. They develop habits which grow and seem normal. For one to break the habits will threaten the other's sense of security, no matter what may be the form of addiction: alcohol, drugs, spending, work, study, gambling, weapons, technology, etc. Each addiction has its addicts and its enablers who fulfill each other's needs. No form of addiction promotes either personal or communal integrity. Addicts need people who understand their condition---to help them break their habits. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================