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            %WHOLISTIC INTEGRATIVE SEXUAL RELATIONS 861011

     Many   sexual   relationships  fall  short  of  being
genuinely integrative in a wholistic way.   Many  personal
relationships entail coercion, manipulation and alienation
which are motivated by selfish consideration. The intimacy
of  such  relationships  is  not  integrative  because  it
involves forms of violence, the violation of some personal
and/or communal integrity.  Any selfish effort to get what
sexuality has to offer is bound to be disintegrative,  not
integrative,   Sexual unions which entail  coercion are in
the   final  analysis  alienative,   disintegrative;   not
wholistic   in  support  of  both  personal  and  communal
integrity.

     Efforts  to achieve sexual fulfillment in  less  than
wholistic  integrative ways fail to be as integrative  and
fulfilling.   They are not,  efforts to join in  wholistic
integrative  sexual  relationships---within the context of
and  in  support of  communal  affirmations  of  wholistic
integrative   sexual   relationships.     The   cycle   of
interdependence of support must be gracious;  else  it  is
likely   to   disintegrate   into  a  vicious   cycle   of
disintegration of personal and communal intimacies.

     Wholistic  integrative sexual relationships  are  not
the fruits  of   legalistic,    moralistic,    or  ethical
prescriptions;   although  they  are  often  motivated  by
desires  to  transcend  and fulfill the  visions  of  such
technical  efforts.   Attempts to fulfill such visions via
technological  means,  systems and institutions  fall  far
short  of  the vision.   Lead by Love,  Power and  Justice
people who are dedicated to wholistic  integrative  sexual
relating  enjoy  the miracle of transcendent  fulfillments
which technically oriented people are incapable of.   Such
fulfillments  can  not be achieved;  they are the gifts of
Love  which  is  not  dedicated  to  the  celebration   of
techniques.    Techniques  for  achieving  desirable  ends
become   perverse   when  alienation   is   generated   by
affirmations  of the goodness of the techniques.   This is
true   of   any  system  for   promoting   proper   sexual
relationships.

     Wholistic integrative sexual relationships entail the
promotion    of    freedom   within   the    context    of
interdependence, mutuality of desires and powers, open and
honest dialogue, and flexibility of response to unexpected
and unpredicted new circumstances.  Such relationships are
not technological achievements.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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