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                        %MUTUAL ACCEPTANCE OF GIFTS 861008

     We can achieve and control only some things.    There
are other things which we can not achieve or control. Some
of what comes to us we have we do not achieve  and can not
control; e.g., many features of our nature and our desires
we do not achieve and we can not  control. Much of what we
are is a gift which we did not achieve, did not come to us
under  our control,  and we  may  for various  reasons not
accept with grace  or  thanksgiving.  The  nature  of  our
mutual  lives  depends much  upon  the manner in which  we
accept or reflect upon such gifts.   If we  are  unable to
accept  the  gifts with mutual grace  we  are   likely  to
experience difficulties due to that inability.

     The  meaning in our lives of gifts which come  to  us
depends on how we mutually define their meaning within the
context of our communal living.   We may define actions to
have meaning, just as we may define words to have meaning.
We  may define the communal meanings  of words,   actions,
fears, desires, guilts, faith,  belief, etc.  The meanings
of these realities  are  culturally dependent,  and so are
not  objective  realities.    Different  cultures   assign
different communal  meanings  to  such personal realities,
but not always with both personal and communal integrity.

     The  integrity  of a community depends strongly  upon
the integrity of the  definitions  it  assigns to personal
realities  which  come  as gifts to  the  members  of  the
community.    Gifts are not earned,  not fully understood,
are  unpredictable,  and can not be fully controlled  with
meaning.    Communities give meanings to gifts,  with,  or
without, integrity.   The integrity of a community depends
upon  how well integrated is the pattern of meanings which
the community and its members assign to their gifts.

     Definitions have power to the extent that they effect
our lives.   They may effect our lives with integrity,  or
with disintegration;  depending upon the extent  that  the
definitions have integrity within the context of our total
communal and private lives.  Some realities have existence
independent  of  human  choices and  definitions.    Human
choices  and  definitions which fly in the  face  of  such
independent realities are bound to lack integrity  and  be
disintegrative,    regardless   of  human  sincerity   and
dedication.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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