This is http://www.essayz.com/a8605041.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %GOODNESS PURITY REFINEMENT SEPARATION 860504 When goodness is desired in terms of purity and refinement there is a temptation to seek it in terms of separation from that which is not desired. Conflict is often feared and people who seek goodness seek to be pure and refined in terms of separation from conflict. Evading, avoiding, ignoring, concealing, neglecting, obscuring and confusing---as ways of dealing with conflict have an appeal to people seeking to be good through purity and refinement perceived as separation from that which is feared, conflict. To be associated with conflict is to guilty by association, to be impure, to be unrefined. That which is pure and refined is not mixed up with that which is impure and unrefined. The key to purity and refinement is specialization, focusing narrowly upon that which is not mixed up: purity is not perceived as a balanced mixture of appropriate complementary components. The search for purity and refinement often leads away from balance, coherence, and integrity; because purity and refinement have to do with separating elementary constituents and valuing in isolation from others, rather than as members of a coherent whole which has meaningful integrity. Balanced relationships are not desired. Pure elements in isolation are desired, like pure gold, silver and platinum. Human relationships are not as eternal as are pure gold, silver and platinum. People who are feeling insecure tend to yearn for that which is safe, secure, unchanging, eternal. Human relationships are neither pure, uncombined, or eternal; instead they are changing relationships which are not under the control of any participant. Desirable human relationships are vital, alive, growing, dynamic; not pure and unchanging. People who seek security in purity and refinement have difficulty with healthy human relationships and are embarrassed by them. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================