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             %GOODNESS PURITY REFINEMENT SEPARATION 860504

     When goodness  is  desired in  terms  of  purity  and
refinement  there  is a temptation to seek it in  terms of
separation from that which is not desired.    Conflict  is
often  feared and people who seek goodness seek to be pure
and refined in terms of separation from conflict. Evading,
avoiding, ignoring,  concealing, neglecting, obscuring and
confusing---as  ways  of  dealing  with conflict  have  an
appeal to people seeking to  be  good through  purity  and
refinement  perceived as  separation from  that  which  is
feared,   conflict.   To be associated with conflict is to
guilty by association, to be impure, to be unrefined. That
which  is pure and refined is not mixed up with that which
is impure and unrefined.  The key to purity and refinement
is  specialization,  focusing narrowly upon that which  is
not  mixed up:   purity is not perceived   as   a balanced
mixture of appropriate complementary components.

     The search for purity and refinement often leads away
from balance, coherence, and integrity; because purity and
refinement   have   to  do  with   separating   elementary
constituents and valuing in  isolation from others, rather
than as members of a coherent whole  which has  meaningful
integrity.   Balanced relationships are not desired.  Pure
elements in isolation are desired,  like pure gold, silver
and platinum.

     Human  relationships  are not as eternal as are  pure
gold,   silver  and  platinum.    People who  are  feeling
insecure tend to  yearn  for that which is safe,   secure,
unchanging,  eternal.   Human  relationships  are  neither
pure, uncombined,  or eternal;  instead  they are changing
relationships  which  are  not  under the  control  of any
participant.   Desirable human  relationships  are  vital,
alive,  growing, dynamic; not pure and unchanging.  People
who seek security in purity and refinement have difficulty
with healthy  human  relationships  and are embarrassed by
them.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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