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The following suggest some essential steps toward becoming able to help people to 
work on mitigating their own alienative conflicts. 

1. Before we can be graciously helpful --- we must learn how to satisfactorily 
describe the following aspects of an alienative-conflict --- that is in need of 
mitigation efforts on the part of those who are most being affected by the 
alienative-conflict:

   a. The traceable-history of the personal-conflicts and personal alienations that 
   have led to the current conflicts and alienations.

   b. The most significant conflicts between and among the diverse:  people, ideals,
   values, principles, rights, entitlements, virtues, perspectives, beliefs, ideologies, 
   etc. --- which have played significant roles in the history of the alienative-conflict.

   c. Entrenched-patterns-of-personal: resentment, distrust, anger, fear, anxiety, 
   friction, desires-for-revenge, embarrassment, guilt, shame, alienation --- which 
   are undermining  possibilities  for gracious cooperation --- as experienced by 
   current victims-and-participants in the alienative-conflict.

   d. What different people now-say are the natures of their conflicts and what they 
   now-say would be  satisfactory try ways to resolve the conflicts --- from their own 
   personal differing points of view.

   e. An informed analysis of how the above desired "resolutions-of-the-conflicts" 
   would be likely-to-influence the-course-of-the-conflicts; with what-benefits and 
   what-costs to those thereby affected; both for good-and-for-ill --- from their 
   different-points-of-view.

   f. An honest-reflexive-analysis of what needs to be done graciously, and-by-whom; 
   to mitigate the alienations among those involved in the past patters of alienative-
   conflicts.

   g. People working together to identify the-denials that have been at-the-center 
   of traditional Collusive-Games-of-Mutual-Self-Deception, and working to describe 
   the costs to different persons ---  of those entrenched patterns-of-denial.

2. We must work on developing consensuses about fully-adequate coherent-over-all-
clusters-of-affirmations of: ideals, values, principles, attitudes, approaches, and 
systems-analyses which include: objective, subjective, reflexive, quantitative 
spiritual and other mutually-complementary realms-of-understanding our-human-
relationships and our-possible-patterns-of-cooperation.

3. We must be intentional in Letting-Go of Domineering-Alienative-Preoccupations with:

   a. Concentrations of Wealth-and-Powers,
   b. Being-In-Control of our personal relationships,
   c. Prescriptions, Proscriptions, Taboos, Rewards and Punishments,
   d. Dichotomous-and-Polarizing Thought-Patterns;
   e. Questions that can/must be responded-to with "YES" or "NO";
   f. Demands that can/must be responded-to with "SUBMISSION" or "OPPOSITION";
   f. Mutually-Exclusive Isolated-Absolute-Truths;
   g. ABSOLUTE: Peace, Purity, Unity, Righteousness, Orthodoxy and Loyalty.

4. We must be intentional in Seeking-to-Integrate into our Lives-and-Reflexive-
   Relationships the following realities:

   a. Ignored-and-or  Excluded-Affirmations of Essential-Foundations of Personal-
      and-Communal    Integrations-and-Integrities.

   b. Perspectives of Different-People demonstrating Complementary-Different-Kinds-
      of-Integrities.

   c. Long-Term-Sustainable-Life-Styles --- that DO-NOT entail the rapid exhaustion 
      of Space-Ship-Earth's Finite-Pure-Resources of Fossil  Fuels, Minerals, Air, 
      Soils and Water --- through patterns of exponential-growth-and-decay --- of 
      our Net-Global-Usage rates.

   d. Honesty about Traditional  Efforts to "WIN" at playing superior-games of 
      mutual-self-deception about inconvenient-truths.

   e. Tolerance toward-different-people who graciously demonstrate: Honesty, 
      Creativity, Authenticity, Imagination, Exploration, Generosity, Hospitality, 
      Prudence and Patience.

   f. Honesty about the relative-sizes-of: Space-Ship-Earth, Our-Sun, Inter-
      Planetary-Distances, Stars-of-all-Sizes, Interstellar-Distances, Galaxies, 
      Galactic-Clusters,   Inter-Galactic-Distances and the Cosmos-as-a-Whole 
      getting even bigger.

   g. Honesty about the full-range of Measurable-Space-Time-Intervals that are 
      characteristic of processes from the realms-of-nuclear-interactions to the 
      realms-of-cosmic-expansion.

   h. Honesty about the full-range of-apprehendable-complexity within the cosmos 
      of objective, reflexive and subjective realities which we can experience in 
      diverse ways.
                         (c) 2009 by Paul A. Smith in      
  www.essayz.com       Search for Integrity and Honesty        
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)