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 %TRUE LOVERS FULLY HEALTHY HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS GOD 080608
%BULLIES PLAY DOMINANT ROLES SIGNIFICANT WAYS PATHS 080608
 %BLAME SHAME GUILT PROJECTED AWAY FROM SELF IMAGES 080608
   %INHIBIT REPRESS PROHIBIT UNDERMINE CONFUSE TALK 080608
 %OPEN PUBLIC DISCUSSION RESPOND CRITIQUE QUESTIONS 080608

Within Fully-Healthy-Human-Relationships there are Few-or-
No-Persons   who   Play-Dominant-Roles   ---    which   in
significant   ways   Exclude-True-Lovers   from   Playing-
Significant-Roles in the evolving courses of the  Healthy-
Human-Relationships.

Human-Relationships are Healthy-Relationships ---  ONLY to
the  extent  that  within  them  the  following  kinds  of
behaviors  DO-NOT-Play Significant-Roles in the  evolution
of the Human-Relationships:

 1.  The  Projection-and/or-Assignment of  blame,   shame,
guilt,  etc.  ---  by-domineering-people upon-other-people
who are Weak-and/or-Submissive in some significant ways.

 2.  ALIENATIVE-BEHAVIORS which Undermine Open-and-Honest-
Dialogue  among  people  who are affected  by  the  Human-
Relationships which are being considered.

 3.  ALIENATIVE-Forms  of:   COMMUNAL-OR-PERSONAL   anger,
resentment,      revenge,     punishment,      banishment,
excommunications,    shunning,   avoidance,   segregation,
isolation,   etc.   ---  USED TO MAINTAIN PERSONAL  AND/OR
COMMUNAL ISOLATED-ULTIMATELY-IDOLATROUS-STANDARDS/VIRTUES.

 4.  UNILATERAL-CONTROL  of:   risks,   benefits,   costs,
vulnerability,  reputations, communications,  friendships,
dialogue,  intimacies, planning,  initiatives,  responses,
emotions,  assumptions, attitudes, fears, anxieties,  etc.
(NOTE:       UNILATERAL-CONTROL     entails      COMMUNAL-
APPROVAL/TOLERATION     of    COMMUNAL-INDIFFERENCES    to
CONSEQUENT-ALIENATION  of MINORITY-PERSONS.  Such COMMUNAL
APPROVAL/TOLERATION  is idolatrous;   in violation of  the
two greatest commandments to love God and Neighbors.)

The  above comments pertain to all the diverse aspects  of
Human-Relationships:    tribal,   linguistic,    economic,
objective,  subjective, reflexive,  religious,  technical,
spiritual,  affective,  sexual,  political,  professional,
etc.

Of   course   it   will  not  be   helpful   to   try   to
repress/suppress  open and honest dialogue about the above
comments.

To  the extent that it is helpful to  characterize  humans
in terms of a spectrum from True-Lovers at one extreme and
Domineering-Bullies at the other extreme -- we need to ask
the following kinds of questions:

Which kinds of people in the above just-mentioned-spectrum
can we reasonably expect to be ready,  willing, able,  and
LIKELY TO AUGMENT:

 0.  The formation of Healthy-Human-Relationships?

 1.  The  Projection-and/or-Assignment of  blame,   shame,
guilt,  etc.  ---  by-domineering-people upon-other-people
who are Weak-and/or-Submissive in some significant ways.

 2.  Alienative-Behaviors which Undermine Open-and-Honest-
Dialogue  among  people  who are affected  by  the  Human-
Relationships which are being considered.

 3.  Alienative-Forms  of:  anger,   resentment,  revenge,
punishment,    banishment,   excommunications,   shunning,
avoidance, segregation, isolation, etc.

 4.  UNILATERAL-CONTROL  of:   risks,   benefits,   costs,
vulnerability,  reputations, communications,  friendships,
dialogue,  intimacies,  planning, initiatives,  responses,
emotions,  assumptions, attitudes, fears, anxieties,  etc.

(NOTE:       UNILATERAL-CONTROL     entails      COMMUNAL-
APPROVAL/TOLERATION    of    COMMUNAL-INDIFFERENCES     to
CONSEQUENT-ALIENATIONS of MINORITY-PERSONS. Such COMMUNAL-
APPROVAL/TOLERATION  is idolatrous;   in violation of  the
two greatest commandments to love God and Neighbors.)

In  the above regards --- see chapter ten "Forgiveness  at
Nickel Mines"  in the book by:  Kraybill, Nolt and Weaver-
Zercher ---   entitled   "Amish  Grace,   How  Forgiveness
Transcended  Tragedy"  Wiley (c)  2007.   It describes the
justifications of the  communal  practices  of SHUNNING of
religious deviants within CERTAIN religious-communities.

Upon  what complementary other kinds of spectrums of human
traits  can  we helpfully focus attention  in  seeking  to
identify  people who will be ready,  willing,  able,   and
likely  to mitigate Unhealthy-Human-Relationships ---   by
MITIGATING  the  JUST-ABOVE  four  groups  of  Alienative-
Behaviors numbered one through four.

How  can  we untie the Gordian-Reflexive-Knots pointed  to
above  ---   and  reach  the  receding  sweet  fruits  of
Security=Invulnerability       via       Imposed-Communal-
Integrity=Conformity?

How can  we, as idealistic-technocratic-fools, achieve the
elimination of tragic-simplistic-idealism? What do the
Greek Tragic-Plays-Teach?

     Be-Together in the Many-Gracious Ways of Shalom.

                         (c) 2008 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)

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