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%DISCERNING HEALTHY UNHEALTHY DEFINING RELATIONSHIP 080417
%COMMUNAL COLLUSIVE GAMES MUTUAL SELF DECEPTION GOD 080417
%REJECTION INTEGRATIVE PARADOXES INTEGRITY IDOLATRY 080417
%DOMINATION SYSTEMS ANALYSIS ADDICTIONS CODEPENDENT 080417
%CONCENTRATIONS WEALTH POWERS InFLUENCE CORRUPTIONS 080417
 %ANALYSIS REFLEXIVE OBJECTIVE SUBJECTIVE RELATIONS 080417

Humans-Become Who-They-Are by virtues of their significant
Personal-Relationships with other humans ---  for GOOD  or
for  ILL  with:

 1.  Mother,
 2.  Father,
 3.  Siblings,
 4.  Grand-Father,
 5.  Grand-Mother,
 6.  Other-Guardians,
 7.  Neighbors,
 8.  Friends,
 9.  Teachers,
10.  Work-Supervisors,
11.  Secret-Lovers,
12.  Significant-Others,
13.  Formal-Marriage-Partners,
14.  Professional-Colleagues,
15.  Unconventional-Intimacies,
16.  Taboo-Partners, etc.

Our   Most-Defining-Relationships  ARE   NOT   necessarily
determined by Formal-and-Informal External-Considerations.

Our  Most-Defining-Relationships  ARE decided  by  choices
Freely-Made by participants within our relationships; even
though  others  may wish to constrain-choices  and/or  are
unaware of the choices --- as they are made.

Our   Most-Honorable-Defining-Relationships    are usually
characterized by   participants Agreeing-by-Consensus upon
Healthy-Clusters-of-Virtues --- even though those Healthy-
Clusters-of-Virtues  are denigrated by  Domineering-People
around Our-Relationships.

The Least-Honorable-Defining-Relationships  are tragically
characterized  by the participants   Agreeing-by-Consensus
upon engaging in Alienative-Behaviors which are  Dominated
by  Domineering-Bullies who honor Clusters-of-Vices as  if
they  were Clusters-of-Virtues ---  because of  prevailing
traditions of:  Families,  Friends,  "Lovers",   Teachers,
Preachers, Workers, Churches, Religious-Institutions, etc.
This  can be true even though people around them treat the
Alienated-Participants  as  if they merit high  levels  of
praise,   honor and support.   Relationships are often NOT
what they APPEAR to be!    For reasons of  safety ---  the
participants   in  Healthy-Defining-Relationships   cannot
always   be   Totally-Open-and-Honest  about  the   Inner-
Integrity of  their own Healthy-Defining-Relationships ---
when  their  own  Communal-Environment  is  Not-Uniformly-
Healthy as a Whole-Community.

     Be-Together in the Many-Gracious Ways of Shalom.

                         (c) 2008 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)

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