This is http://www.essayz.com/b0709143.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %VULNERABLE SPOUSE ABUSIVE ADDICT FIXATE REFORM GOD 070914 %COPY ALIENATIVE BEHAVIOR PATTERN DEFEND SELF OTHER 070914 %DYSFUNCTIONAL EVIL DOMINANT CONTROLLING RELATIONS 070914 The vulnerable spouse of an abusive addict who fixates upon the addict's destructive behavior becomes entrapped in that destructive behavior; often copying it. The best that the spouse may be able to do is to act in ways which lead the addict to get appropriate treatment for the dysfunctional behavior which is a form of mental illness; and leads to the spouse also getting appropriate treatment leading to the recovery needed to do any good in the world. While fixated upon an addict's destructive behaviors --- we cannot do any good in the world; we are entrapped. So also, so long as we are fixated upon other patterns of alienative behaviors --- we cannot do any good in the world; we are entrapped in our fixation. We may become addicted to our fixation because it makes us feel superior to the person who is demonstrating tragic patterns of alienative behaviors. To transcend other people's alienative patterns of behaviors we must avoid the patterns of responses noted in the previous essay; and learn how it is that people are moved into such alienative patterns of behaviors because of: 1. Distributive injustice. 2. Systemic patterns of discrimination. 3. Concentrations of wealth and powers. 4. Alienative theologies and patterns of analysis. 5. Collusive Games of Mutual Self Deception. 6. Unrecognized Arrogance, Domination, Self-Righteousness 7. Unrecognized Pretense, Dishonesty, Secrecy. Be-Together in the Many-Gracious ways of Shalom. (c) 2007 by Paul A. Smith in "Search for Honesty and Integrity" (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================