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%VULNERABLE SPOUSE ABUSIVE ADDICT FIXATE REFORM GOD 070914
%COPY ALIENATIVE BEHAVIOR PATTERN DEFEND SELF OTHER 070914
 %DYSFUNCTIONAL EVIL DOMINANT CONTROLLING RELATIONS 070914

The  vulnerable  spouse of an abusive addict  who  fixates
upon  the addict's destructive behavior becomes  entrapped
in that destructive behavior; often copying it.   The best
that the spouse  may be able to do is to act in ways which
lead  the  addict  to  get appropriate treatment  for  the
dysfunctional behavior  which is a form of mental illness;
and leads to the spouse also getting appropriate treatment
leading  to  the  recovery needed to do any  good  in  the
world.

While  fixated upon an addict's destructive behaviors  ---
we cannot do any good in the world; we are entrapped.

So also,  so long as we are fixated upon other patterns  of
alienative  behaviors  ---   we cannot do any good  in  the
world;   we are entrapped in our fixation.   We may become
addicted to our fixation because it makes us feel superior
to  the  person  who  is demonstrating tragic patterns  of
alienative behaviors.

To   transcend  other  people's  alienative   patterns  of
behaviors we must avoid the patterns of responses noted in
the  previous  essay;  and learn how it is that people are
moved into  such alienative patterns of behaviors  because
of:

 1. Distributive injustice.
 2. Systemic patterns of discrimination.
 3. Concentrations of wealth and powers.
 4. Alienative theologies and patterns of analysis.
 5. Collusive Games of Mutual Self Deception.
 6. Unrecognized Arrogance, Domination, Self-Righteousness
 7. Unrecognized Pretense, Dishonesty, Secrecy.

     Be-Together in the Many-Gracious ways of Shalom.

                         (c) 2007 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)

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