This is http://www.essayz.com/b0707210.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================
 %GIVING GUIDANCE FOR TRUE LOVERS BECOMING INVOLVED 070721
%INTIMATE ROMANTIC FRIENDLY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP GOD 070721
%FAMILIES NEIGHBORS GROUPS TOWNS VILLAGES CITIES ID 070721
%CHURCHES RELIGIOUS INSTITUTIONS SECULAR LAWS RULES 070721
%REGULATIONS ADMINISTRATIONS POLICE JUDICIAL COURTS 070721
%PROHIBITION PRESCRIPTIONS TABOOS PUNISHMENT PURITY 070721

Overly-Simple = Simplistic   Guidelines for human behavior
often  lead people towards Tragic-Alienations -- even when
the people who try to follow the Simplistic-Guidelines are
quite sincere  and  united  in what  Simplistic-Guidelines
they  agree to follow.   How can we avoid their  kinds  of
tragic dilemmas?

Can  we  helpfully  articulate  some   Broad-and-Gracious-
Guidelines for True-Lovers who  are  seeking  to draw some
specific/particular Gracious-Guidelines For-Themselves-to-
Honor as they become involved in:  intimate,  romantic and
sexual relationships?  Consider  the following suggestions
of what should be   MITIGATED  what we do, and  do not do.

 1.  Dishonesty, pretense, arrogance and hubris.

 2.  Prescriptions, proscriptions and demands.

 3.  Commands, controls and judgementalism.

 4.  Concentrations of power and wealth.

 5.  Domination, coercion and violence.

 6.  Win/lose contests and/or competitions.

 7.  Rank-ordering-people, hierarchies and Cast-Systems.

 8.  Collusive-Games-of-Mutual-Self-Deception.

 9.  All kinds of Slavery-and-Segregations.

10.  Redemptive-Power-Myths about the above Vices.

Note:    Successful  MITIGATION  efforts  shift   people's
attention  away  from Excessive-Preoccupations  with  that
which is to  be mitigated;    toward Complementary-and/or-
Opposite Integrative-Efforts in Shalom's-Ways.   There  is
No-Way-to-Shalom;  Shalom is The-Way.

The above guidelines are relevant to groups of two or more
Imperfect-True-Lovers at all  stages of their involvements
in attempting to  Be-Truly-Together in  the Gracious-Ways-
of-Shalom.

Other  Gracious-Guidelines  which  are  Coherent-With  and
Well-Integrated-With the above ten guidelines --- may also
be helpful in some situations/contexts.

Those  realities which the above guidelines  Suggest-Need-
to-Be-Mitigated ---  are never helpful in giving  guidance
to  Imperfect-True-Lovers  as  they  become  involved  in:
intimate, romantic and sexual relationships.

The following suggest additional considerations that  need
to be Kept-In-Mind.

The   possibility,    probability   and   seriousness   of
Destructive-Consequences  increase  whenever  any  of  the
FOLLOWING-CIRCUMSTANCES ---  occur within social  settings
involving intimate,  romantic and/or  sexual relationships
---  which are envisioned,  fantasized,  desired,  sought,
planned  and/or actualized:

 a.  People are ignorant about the risks entailed.

 b.  People believe that life is Essentially-Simple.

 c.  The number of people involved is increased.

 d.  Levels of Intimacy, Romance and/or Sexuality increase.

 e.  Participants came from diverse heritages/cultures.

 f.  Participants are unequal in power/wealth/education.

 g.  Participants are unequal in sensitivity.

 h.  Participants are unequal in empathy/sympathy.

 i.  Participants are unequal in experience/knowledge.

 j.  Participants are NOT in Ongoing-Honest-Dialogues.

 k.  Participants are NOT sensitive to each other's needs.

 l.  Participants are NOT empathetic/sympathetic to each.

 m.  Participants ARE victims of Domination-Systems.

 n.  Participants ARE supporters of Domination-Systems.

 o.  Some persons are NOT free to Offer/Accept True-Love.

 p.  Some persons are Loyal to some Domination-System.

 q.  Some persons are Insecure and/or Fear-Full.

 r.  Some persons are Fear-Full of being Truly-Vulnerable.

 s.  Some persons are Fear-Full of Prudent-Wise-Risks.

 t.  Some persons have never Lived-In any True-Sanctuary.

 u.  Refusals to acknowledge our human/planet limitations.

 v.  Refusals to acknowledge cosmic-laws'-limits-upon-us.

 w.  Combinations of the above conditions Do-Exist.

 x.  Combinations exacerbate destructive effects of each.

 y.  Combinations re-cycles many Destructive-Efforts.

 z.  Residual: greed, ignorance and/or confusion  persist.

NONE  of  the above conditions is likely to  mitigate  the
risks associated other of  the above conditions.  Instead,
EACH of the above  conditions  is likely to exacerbate the
risks associated with other of the above conditions.

     To  the extent possible we need to MITIGATE  each  of
the above conditions as graciously as we can do so.

     Be Graciously-Together in the Many-Ways-of-Shalom.

                         (c) 2007 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)

==========================================================