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  %JACK AND JILL FALLING INTO TRUE LOVERS TRAPS SEX 070122
%SAFE VULNERABILITY FOOLS RISK INTIMACY BOTTOM LINE 070122
 %SEDUCTION UNCONTROLLED EVIL RELATIONSHIPS CONFORM 070122
%PREPLANNED FELLOWSHIP DIALOGUE SYMPATHY EMPATHY ID 070122
%SECURE INVULNERABILITY ABSOLUTE TRUTH INDEPENDENCE 070122
%SUPERIOR ISOLATION EXCOMMUNICATION ALIENATION SURE 070122

     Jack and Jill have different perspectives.

     Jack  wants a utilitarian relationship with  Jill  in
which Jill accepts him as Jack is now,  and helps Jack get
his needs  met ---  while not threatening Jack's  view  of
himself.

     Jill  wants to grow within an  intimate  relationship
with Jack --- within  which  they  get  to know each other
intimately through  open and honest dialogue wherein  they
both grow together.

     Jack wants to be secure in who he is now; and how his
current  needs,  visions,  hopes and aspirations can  most
fully be met according to his current plans.

     Jill wants to grow  together with Jack  in ways which
are mutually fulfilling in balanced ways  ---  ways  which
cannot now be fully anticipated or planned.

     Jack wants to  avoid his current being  who he is ---
being  threatened  by any expectation of growth which  has
not been planned by him, and cannot now be planned by him.

     Jill wants and expects to grow beyond who she is  now
---   by being meaningfully involved in many non-exclusive
intimate  relationships with others who want and expect to
grow  in  the healthy ways of Shalom ---  which  transcend
independent   individuals   --- acting   as    independent
individuals  --- without sensitive mutual consideration of
each other's most basic and healthy needs.

     Jack  fears  being  seduced  into  any  new  kind  of
relationships within which he would be vulnerable in  ways
that he will not be able to control.

     Jill seeks to be involved  in a relationship which is
meaningful ---  because it entails being Safely-Vulnerable
in   Mutually-Desired-Intimacies  which  are  creative  in
unexpected ways.

     Be Graciously-Together in the Many-Ways-of-Shalom.

                         (c) 2006 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)

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