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  %MANY PARTICIPANTS EVOLVING RELATIONSHIP CONTEXTS 061221
 %READY TAKE NEXT STEP UNILATERALLY IN IGNORANT SEX 061221
 %ADDITIONAL UNSUSTAINABLE COMMITTMENTS LIMITATIONS 061221
%MARRIAGE FRIENDSHIPS INTIMACIES OPEN HONEST VISITS 061221
%TRANSCEND PROVINCIALISM COLLUSIVE GAME MUTUAL SELF 061221
 %DECEPTION CONFUSION ISOLATION ARROGANCE RIGHTEOUS 061221

     In  the  following  observations about  an  Evolving-
Relationship --- there may be two or more participants. It
is  rare  that an Evolving-Relationship involves only  two
people.  There are usually some people who are involved by
virtue  of  existing   family-relationships,  friendships,
economic-arrangements, promises-made, contracts, etc.

     Some  people  who are participating in  an  Evolving-
Relationship may think/feel  that they are ready to take a
particular  step;   while  one or more others may  not  be
ready, but that may not be generally known.

     Even if all of the people who are participating in an
Evolving  Relationship ---  sincerely think/feel that they
are ready to take a particular step;  The-Relationship-As-
Such  may not be ready for that particular step.    Taking
that  particular  step may lead to  serious  unanticipated
consequences ---  because the participants did not jointly
understand  their relationship in one common well-informed
and mature way.

     The   following  are  possible  steps  which  may  be
considered as relevant to the above considerations.

 1.  Buying a particular house at a given time.
 2.  Accepting a particular job offer.
 3.  Joining a particular religious group.
 4.  Becoming a candidate for an elective office.
 5.  Becoming more intimately involved with a friend.
 6.  Becoming sexually involved with a friend.
 7.  Making a major investment at a particular time.
 8.  Breaking a promise made to a friend/group.
 9.  Joining a military service-organization.
10.  Making a declaration of a religious belief.
11.  Refusing to conform to some communal expectation.
12.  Engaging in some unexpected creative activity.
13.  Joining a different political party.
14.  Marrying a person in a different economic status.
15.  Marrying a person in a different religious group.
16.  Marrying a person in a different educational status.
17.  Marrying a person of a different gender-identity.
18.  Marrying a person of a different race/culture.
19.  Marrying a person of a different nationality.
20.  Marrying a person of a different scientific-view.

     In  each  relationships  the  participants  who   are
considering  taking  some important step need to  consider
carefully the overall-contexts within which they might  be
taking  that important step.   The people who  create  and
define their overall-contexts are in fact participants  in
their Evolving-Relationship ---  to a greater extent  than
they may be aware of as individuals and/or as The-Relation
which  they  are Evolving-Within.   The Whole may be  more
than  the  simple-sum-of-its parts;  and may not be  fully
understood by all of its individual-parts.

     In  the above kinds of circumstances/contexts  sudden
changes  are more likely to cause people distress than are
well-informed,  prudent, gradual changes --- approached in
cooperative ways.  It may be possible to resolve conflicts
which arise due to differences in perspectives,  attitudes
and assumptions.   Rash responses are unlikely to  resolve
any  conflicts;  and may well lead to tragic  consequences
due to simplistic understandings of what is happening.

     Be Graciously-Together in the Many-Ways-of-Shalom.

                         (c) 2006 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)

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