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 %MODE BEING INVOLVED HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS EVIL ID 061214
%KNOWING WHO GOOD SAVED REDEEMED SALVATION RIGHT IT 061214
%RESCUE UNILATERAL HUBRIS CONCENTRATED WEALTH POWER 061214
%DOMINATION SYSTEM MILITARY INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX WARS 061214
  %CORPORATIONS PERSONAL RIGHTS POWERS COOPERATIONS 061214
 %INTIMATE RISKS SANCTUARY OPEN HONEST DIALOGUE SEX 061214

      For  people  to  engage with each  other  in  healthy
relationships  they  need  to  be in  mutually-computable-
modes-of-being.

      The following are some possible modes-of-being:

  1.  Defensive.               2.  Offensive.
  3.  Attack.                  4.  Submit.
  5.  Dominate.                6.  Yield.
  7.  Control.                 8.  Follow.
  9.  Demand.                 10.  Command.
 11.  Obey.                   12.  Conform.
 13.  Rebel.                  14.  Dominate.
 15.  Surrender.              16.  Acquire.
 17.  Flight.                 18.  Fight.
 19.  Hoard.                  20.  Cling.
 21.  Clutch.                 22.  Hold.
 23.  Polarize.               24.  Bifurcate.
 25.  Dichotomize.            26.  Either-Or.

     NONE  of the above modes are characteristic of people
who are well suited  to engage with  each other in healthy
relationships   ---   because  NONE  of  the  above  modes
demonstrate any commitment to be:  balanced,  cooperative,
collaborators, mutually-together,  integrators,  coherent,
sympathetic,  empathetic, in-dialogue, listeners, patient,
generous,  hospitable,  civil,  affirmative,  transparent,
authentic, helpful, etc.

     Most  of  the  above words can  easily  be  taken  to
suggest modes of being which are persistently antithetical
to being well  suited  to  engage  with  others in healthy
relationships.

     Some modes of being are only temporarily antithetical
to  being well suited to engage at the moment with  others
in   new/additional   healthy  relationships  because   of
existing:  committments, involvements, promises, contexts,
limitations, circumstances, incompatibilities, etc. on the
part of self-and/or-others.

     Healthy-Relationships can exist only when two or more
people are in Modes-of-Being which are MUTUALLY-COMPATIBLE
to to being in Healthy-Relationships.

     Each  person  may  be in a Mode-of-Being  ---   which
prevents   them  from  being   involved  in  any  Healthy-
Relationship.   Many of the 26  words above are suggestive
of such inhibiting Modes-of-Being.

     Each  person may be in a Mode-of-Being which  permits
Healthy-Relationships  with  other  persons  ---  who  are
likewise   in  a  Mode-of-Being  which  permits   Healthy-
Relationships  with other persons;  AND who are Compatible
with  them,   by EACH being  in  a Mode-of-Being which  is
Compatible with EACH-OTHER.

     OPENNESS   to   being   in   involved   in   Healthy-
Relationships  AND  MUTUALITY between  Modes-of-Being  are
BOTH-ESSENTIAL.

     Some  people are  NOT-OPEN  to being involved in  any
Healthy-Relationships --- for  some  of  the  26   reasons
suggested above.

     Other  people  ARE  OPEN to being  involved  in  many
Healthy-Relationships  ---  but only with others  who  are
MUTUALLY-COMPATIBLE.    Not all combinations of  Modes-of-
Being  are  MUTUALLY-COMPATIBLE  even if  they  constitute
being open to being involved in many Health-Relationships.

     Be Graciously-Together in the Many-Ways-of-Shalom.

                         (c) 2006 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)

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