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   %ABSENCE REAL PEOPLE COURTSHIP EXPLORING SIMILAR 060416
%HEALTHY INTEGRATIVE RELATIONSHIPS EVIL INDIVIDUALS 060416
%POSSIBLE IMPOSSIBLE UNAWARE MINDFUL BUDDHA EMPATHY 060416
%SYMPATHY FEARFUL DISDAINFUL DIFFERENT WEALTH POWER 060416
%ULTIMATE CONCERNS IDOLS IDOLATRY MATURITY PARADIGM 060416
%DOMINANT COERCION VIOLENCE ADDICTIONS POLARIZATION 060416

     In  the  absence of two  real people  who  are  truly
exploring the  possibilities  developing roughly the  same
kind of relationship --- there is no real courtship.

     A  real  courtship is about two people exploring  how
similar  are  their visions of whatever each  of  the  two
perceives  as  truly possible ---  as they relate to  each
other. It is not a real courtship if:

     1.  Either is unaware of the other.

     2.  Either  is aware,   but fearful or disdainful  of
the other.

     3.  The two  are so different in:  maturity,   power,
wealth,  interests, disposition, paradigms,  intelligence,
education,   culture,   language,   etc.   ---   that  the
possibilities of real open and honest dialogue are slim at
best.

     4.  The social contexts of the two weigh very heavily
against  any kind of open and honest public dialogue  ever
occurring with both personal and communal integrity.

     5.  The  levels  of health of the two  weigh  against
there  ever  being opportunities of integrative  open  and
honest dialogue between the two people.

     6.  The courtship exists only at the level of fantasy
on the part of either or both of the two.

     7.  Balance-is-Absent and Dominance-is-Present; e.g.,
as   regards:   Budgeting-Time-and/or-Money,    Work-Done,
Benefits-Enjoyed, Diet, Friendships, Beliefs, Convictions,
Rituals,  T.V.,  Radio,  News, Magazines, Books,   Habits,
Leisure,   Religion,   Intimacies,   Sexuality,   Rituals,
Visitations, Taboos, etc.

     Real-Courtships   are  about  building  balanced  and
healthy personal relationships; i.e., relationships  which
facilitate   and   promote  both  personal  and   communal
integrations  and integrities.  No form of dominance plays
a central role in real courtships.

     To be Truly-Balanced In-their-Efforts   Real-Courters
must be empathetic/sympathetic to each-other's needs which
originate  in  the  challenges  which  they each  have  in
dealing with the needs of  yet-other significant-people in
each-there's lives.    The Web-of-Those-Relationships  may
extend to all members  of the  Crew-of-Space-Ship-Earth---
with lower significance  the more intermediaries there are
within the far-extending Web-of-Those-Relationships.

     Perfection  in fulfilling the above "vision"   is  of
course  impossible.    True-Lovers within  Real-Courtships
just do the best they can do,  and tolerate  each  other's
difficulties in trying to fulfill the "vision" in LOVE, by
being graciously together in the Way of Shalom.

                         (c) 2006 by Paul A. Smith in 
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)

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