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%ESSENTIAL KEYS FOUNDATION MEANS UNDERSTAND RESOLVE 050814
%CONFLICTS FIGHTS WARS TERROR ATTACK INSECURITY SIN 050814
%THREAT DEFENSIVE DEFEND ROOT META TENSION CONTENDS 050814
  %POWERS THAT BE COLLUSIVE GAMES MUTUAL SELF DECEP 050814
%UNKNOWN HIDDEN DISHONEST SECRET MYSTERY SACRED GOD 050814
%TEXT SCRIPT COMMAND DEMAND PROSCRIPTION PRESCRIPTS 050814

     There  are times when to understand and  resolve  our
conflicts with  others --- we must entertain thoughts that
some of  the  following may possibly be the roots  of  our
difficulties  in  trying  to understand  and  resolve  our
conflicts with other people:

     1.  They  feel  threatened  and are  being defensive;
possibly  with the source of the perceived threat  unclear
and the nature of the hoped-for-defense unclear.

     2.  They feel terrorized by a source, power, reality,
person,  or group ---  that again may be  unknown/unclear;
and may, or may not, engender a perceived threat.

     3.  They  feel uncomfortably vulnerable and insecure;
and  do not know how to gain comfort,  invulnerability  or
security.

     4.  They  have   never enjoyed being  fully  accepted
just  as  they are,  included just as they are,   at-ease,
secure,  healthy, etc. ---  and have always been taught to
look-out-for-themselves-defensively ---  as their primary-
concern; maybe as their ultimate-concern.

     5.  They  have  never known anybody whom  they  could
trust  in  an  unqualified way;  anyone  who  demonstrated
authentic concern for their integrity, health or welfare.

     6.  They  have  always  been made to  feel  inferior,
vulnerable, not-good-enough, etc.

     7.  They  have  been  taught  that  their   salvation
depends  upon themselves,  specific other persons,   some
specific-group,   The  Powers  That Be,  or  some  unknown
Superior-Power --- acting unilaterally.

     The above list is probably NOT complete.   The  point
is that to understand and be able to cooperate with others
in resolving conflicts --- we may need to become aware  of
possibilities which have not yet come to mind,  and  think
about the implications of those possibilities.

     In  particular it may be that  What-is-Most-Important
in   our   conflicts,    dilemmas,     mis-understandings,
dysfunctional-relationships, etc. may NOT be:

     1.  How rational we or others are.
     2.  How well informed we or others are.
     3.  How well-intentioned we or others are.
     4.  How doctrinally-correct we or others are.
     5.  How moral or ethical we or others are.
     6.  How well-educated or well-trained we/they are.
     7.  How well-cultured we or others are.
     8.  How successful and/or honored we/they are.
     9.  How wealthy and/or healthy we/they are.
    10.  How spiritual and/or religious we/they are.

     In  fact,   What-is-Most-Important in our  conflicts,
dilemmas, misunderstandings,  dysfunctional-relationships,
etc.     may  be  Effectively-Pointed-To  above  the  just
previous list of ten items.

                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
                      "Search for Honesty and Integrity"
                    (On Being Yourself Whole and Healthy)


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