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  %RARE GRACIOUS EVOLUTION HUMAN RELATIONS COERCION 050111
%FACILITATED PROMOTE VIOLENCE UNILATERAL INITIATIVE 050111
%HEALTHY DEVELOPMENT UNDERMINE SUBVERT DIALOGUE SIN 050111
%LEARNING MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING INTEGRATIONS FRIENDS 050111
 %COOPERATION COLABORATION COHERENCE HEALING LOVERS 050111
%OBJECTIVE SUBJECTIVE REFLEXIVE INTIMACIES TRUE GOD 050111

     It is very rare that  the gracious evolution of human
relationships   is  truly  facilitate  through   coercion,
violence and other forms of unilateral action.   Generally
---   coercion,   violence and other forms  of  unilateral
action undermine: listening, dialogue,  learning,  mutual-
understanding,     balance,   cooperation,  collaboration,
coherence,   integrations, integrities, and other healthy-
developments.

     There   are   times  and   occasions   in  objective-
relationships  between people and  inanimate-objects  when
coercion,   violence and other forms of unilateral  action
lead to satisfactory outcomes for the human initiators  of
such  developments  ---  where objects are never known  to
demonstrate  wills-of-their-own,  to  take-initiatives-of-
their-own, or to care about outcomes.

     In  reflexive-relationships  which involve  creatures
that are known to demonstrate wills-of-their-own, to take-
initiatives-of-their-own,  and to care about the  outcomes
of the  developing  relationships ---  it is doubtful that
coercion,   violence  or other forms of unilateral  action
have  been  demonstrated to  be  helpful to  all  who  are
involved   in  balanced  ways.    Only   domineering-fools
approach  such situations with confidence that they can be
helpfully   IN-CHARGE  of  the  evolution  of   REFLEXIVE-
RELATIONSHIPS.

     What  can  True-Lovers do to help  such  domineering-
fools   to   better  understand  the   possibilities   and
impossibilities    that   are   present   in    REFLEXIVE-
RELATIONSHIPS? Consider the following suggestions:

     1.  It  does  no  good  to  imitate  the   attitudes,
assumptions,    beliefs,    and   behavioral-patterns   of
domineering-fools.

     2.  It  does no good to pretend that True-Lovers  can
effectively TAKE-CHARGE, or helpfully BE-IN-CONTROL.

     3.  It   does   no  good  to   be   dishonest   about
possibilities and impossibilities, facts, and the reliable
descriptive-laws-of-cosmic-processes.

     4.  It does no good to unilaterally  make demands, or


to   issue  commandments,  prescriptions,   proscriptions,
edicts, scripts, or make assignments as regards what roles
others must play.

     5.  It  does  no good to try to  UNILATERALLY-CONTROL
the evolution of:  inter-personal-relationships,  beliefs,
attitudes, perspectives,  feelings,   emotions,   desires,
hopes, expectations, etc.

     It  is helpful to help each new generation  of  young
people to understand:

     1.  The    contrast    between   I-Thou   and    I-It
relationships, as described by Martin Buber.

     2.  What  is possible,  and what is not possible,  in
intimate personal relationships.

     3.  The nature of domineering-fools who rush in where
angels fear to tread.

     4.  The   reliable-descriptions  of  how   RELFEXIVE-
RELATIONSHIPS  are  likely  to evolve in the  presence  of
UNILATERAL:  coercion,  violence,  dishonesty,  arrogance,
self-righteousness,  pretentiousness,   bias,   prejudice,
intentional-ignorance, etc.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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