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  %UNREALISTIC DISHONEST COMMITTMENT PERMANENT PAIR 040321
  %UNCHANGING PARTICIPATE MEANINGFUL EVIL RELATIONS 040321
%COLLUSIVE GAME MUTUAL SELF DECEPTION DISHONESTY GO 040321
 %LETTING EACH SELF OTHER BEING AUTHENTIC INTEGRITY 040321

     It  is unrealistic and often dishonest for people  to
presume  to commit themselves to creating a permanent  and
unchanging relationship.   To participate in a  meaningful
relationship   is  to interact with each  other  and  with
significant  other persons ---  in ways which are bound to
lead   to   personal,   relational and  communal  changes.
Such  changes cannot all be anticipated with any degree of
reliability.       To    pretend    otherwise     in     a
coherent/systematic    way    is   to  participate  in   a
collusive game of mutual   self-deception --- a  dishonest
game  which  will  lead  to the  disintegration  of    the
relationship, the  participants and the community in   the
relationship.

     People  CAN meaningfully commit to participate  in  a
dynamic relationship which is characterized by:

     1.  Openness,
      2.  Honesty,
       3.  Mutuality,
        4.  Balance,
         5.  Authenticity,
          6.  Responsiveness,
           7.  Civility,
            8.  Hospitality,
             9.  Gentleness,
              10.  Kindness,
               11.  Sensitivity,
                12.  Empathy,
                 13.  Sympathy,
                  14.  Generosity,
                   15.  Humility,
                    16.  Reverence,
                     17.  Etc.

     Such a commitment cannot  be fulfilled to perfection,
but  it  can  be  fulfilled  in  meaningful  and  mutually
satisfying  ways ---  perhaps even until an eventual death
which cannot be avoided, but can be dealt with in mutually
meaningful ways.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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