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%HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS INTEGRATION ISOLATION ALIENATE+030909
  %NETWORK WEB FABRIC COMPLEMENTARY WAYS DESCRIBING+030909
   %AFFECT CAUSE EFFECT EMPHASIZE SYSTEMATIC IGNORE+030909
 %FORGET NEGLECT ABSENT MISSING ISOLATION SEPARATED+030909
%EMPHASIZE PRIORITY DESCRIPTION SCRIPTURES COMMANDS+030909
    %OBJECTIVE SUBJECTIVE REFLEXIVE DEFINED EVOLVED 030909
                                                          
     Human  relationships do not exist in isolation,   but
within networks of relationships which interact with  each
other.                                                    
                                                          
     There are many complementary ways of describing human
relationships.     No  one  way  of  describing  a   human
relationship is adequate in and of itself --- in isolation
from   other   complementary  ways  of  describing   human
relationships.     How we describe our human relationships
often  affects  the  nature of  our  human  relationships;
depending upon what we emphasize in our descriptions,  and
what we systematically ignore.                            
                                                          
     Our physical bodies are objective elements within our
human  relationships;  yet we may have extensive knowledge
of  the objective  elements  and of the interactions among
the objective elements of our personal  relationships  ---
and be virtually ignorant  of  the nature  of our personal
relationships which are reflexive in nature.              
                                                          
     Personal relationships cannot be "defined"  in  terms
of some limited  range  of  the  aspects  of  the personal
relationships; e.g.,: formal,  familial, legal, financial,
religious, secular,  business, professional, work, sexual,
intimacies,    dialogues,    conversations,     political,
traditions, etc.                                          
                                                          
     It  becomes  exceedingly difficult  to  describe  our
personal relationships accurately --- if our relationships
entail interactions  within webs/fabrics characterized by:
addictions,    codependency,    collusions,    dishonesty,
pretentiousness, arrogance, self righteousness, conflicts,
violence,   etc.    There is then  virtually  no  reliable
perspective from which to apprehend the true nature of our
relationships ---  for our dysfunctional relationships are
likely  to  profoundly affect  any  persons  who  seek  to
apprehend their true natures.   Such relationships seek to
conceal  their  natures  from  those  who  seek  to  truly
apprehend what their true natures are.                    
                                                          
     Outsiders cannot "define" or "control"  the nature of
a relationship; even though outsiders may play significant
supportive or distractive roles.                          
                                                          
     Insiders  cannot unilaterally "define"   or "control"
the  nature   of  their personal relationship(s);     even
though  insiders  will  clearly  play  significant   rules
in    the   initiation   and  evolution  of   a   personal
relationship.  The following  factors  will be significant
elements    in    the  initiation  and  evolution   of   a
relationship:                                             
                                                          
     1.  Desires, hopes, visions, expectations, fears;    
                                                          
     2.  Abilities, disabilities, health, disease;        
                                                          
     3.  Communication and listening skills;              
                                                          
     4.  Attitudes, dispositions, assumptions;            
                                                          
     5.  Beliefs, convictions, doubts, certainties;       
                                                          
     6.  Differences, similarities, conflicts, needs;     
                                                          
     7.  Childhood experiences, injuries and memories;    
                                                          
     8.  Previous significant relationships.              
                                                          
     Relationships   change   the  participants   in   the
relationships;  and the changes in the participants change
the   relationships   in  which  they  are   participants.
Relationships  change in ways which cannot be unilaterally
controlled   by  the  participants  --- according  to  any
systematic   plan   on   the  part   of   any   person(s).
Relationships   can  change  in  ways  which  nobody   can
anticipate  ---   no  matter how  hard  they  may  try  to
anticipate the direction and timing of changes.           
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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