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 %FULFILL PEOPLE'S STANDARDS RIGHTEOUS PERFECT WISE 030621
%PRUDENT GRACIOUS COOPERATIVE HELPFUL BALANCED GOOD 030621
%TOLERANT CREATIVE INTEGRATIVE HONEST PLEASE DEVILS 030621
 %MISLEADING COMPULSIVE DECEIVE NEVER MISTAKE WRONG 030621
  %CAUGHT CRITICIZED INTEGRITIES RELATIONSHIP GAMES 030621
%PUNISHED PERFECTIONISTS PURITANS SEXUAL INTIMACIES 030621

     People  who  fulfill dominant people's standards  for
being right,    righteous,  and perfect ---   are unlikely
to take enough prudent,  wise and gracious risks --- to be
cooperative,   helpful,     balanced,     generous,    and
tolerant   of   other  people's efforts  to  be  creative,
integrative and honest.

     It  is a mistake to  try to please all  people.   The
only  way to try to please all people ---  is to deal with
most people in ways which mislead many people.  Compulsive
pleasers --- become compulsive deceivers.

     If  we are striving for  perfection  in the sense  of
never  making mistakes,  never being wrong,   never  being
"caught",   and  never  being criticized ---   we  are not
promoting  and  facilitating  standards which promote  and
facilitate   both   personal   and   communal   kinds   of
integrities.

     Striving   for  such alienative kinds  of  perfection
leads us  into patterns  of  evil-relationships which  are
dominated   by  secrecy,    pretentiousness and  collusive
games   of   mutual self  deception.   Striving  for  such
alienative kinds of  perfection does NOT lead us into kind
and  humane  relationships.   Such striving  leads  us  to
become domineering  people   who   are  very    trying  as
controllers   of   each   other   ---      as  domineering
people   who  cannot  take the normal  risks   of  healthy
friendships,   intimacy and honesty.    Be aware  of  such
patterns of alienative behaviors; and beware!

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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