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 %PRESENCES ABSENCES MISSING LACKING GONE FORGOTTEN+030320
%CONFUSE CONFLATE CAUSES EFFECTS DISTRESS ELIMINATE+030320
%TRAGIC BEHAVIOR ACKNOWLEDGE PARADIGM ENTAIL DEVILS+030320
  %GOODNESS SELF RIGHTEOUSNESS ARROGANCE ALIENATION+030320
%SINNERS LOVERS GODS DISTRESS PUNISH COERCE VIOLENT+030320
%SEX EXCLUSIVE REJECT BANISH ALIENATE ESTRANGE FALL 030320

     Humans  often confuse/conflate causes of distress ---
and try to eliminate their own distress in ways which they
do not acknowledge  as  contributing  to the causes  their
distress;  e.g.,   distress caused by undermining  healthy
and  honest  efforts to  mitigate  all  forms  of   human:
arrogance,     self-righteousness,  and domination.   Such
tragic behaviors are especially common  when  humans  seek
to    eliminate   their  distress  through  the   use   of
strategies which  entail  any one,   or some combinations,
of the  following elements in human relationships:

1.  Punishments,  4.  Exclusivity,   7.  Excommunications,
2.  Coercion,     5.  Rejections,    8.  Alienations,
3.  Violence,     6.  Banishments,   9.  Estrangements,
                                    10.  Dishonesty.

     In the presence of the above elements, the  following
essential elements of healthy relationships are subverted:

1.  Education,    4.  Dialogue,      7.  Cooperation,
2.  Learning,     5.  Balance,       8.  Civility,
3.  Creativity,   6.  Mutuality,     9.  Reverence,
                                    10.  Honesty.

     When  the above elements of healthy relationships are
subverted  ---   it  is rare that people deal  wisely  and
prudently with the tragic  costs of human distress pointed
to by the following:

     1.  Adolescents' ignorance about healthy-sexuality.
     2.  Premature/ignorant sexual-experimentation.
     3.  Sexually-transmitted diseases; e.g., AIDS
     4.  Premature-pregnancies started by adolescents.
     5.  Occasions of sexual-abuse of all kinds.
     6.  Addictions/codependencies passed on to children.
     7.  Collusive games of mutual self deception.
     8.  The costs of coercion, violence and wars.
     9.  The costs of mental dis-ease and diseases.
    10.  The costs of maintaining inhumane prisons.
    11.  The costs of prostituted sexual relationships.
    12.  The costs of enslaving children as prostitutes.
    13.  The costs of abusing-sexuality in advertising.
    14.  The costs of the military-industrial complexes.
    15.  The costs of militarization-of-poor-countries.
    16.  The costs of conflicts between religious groups.
    17.  The costs of arrogance and self-righteousness.
    18.  The costs of inadequate educational systems.
    19.  The costs of keeping females ignorant and poor.
    20.  The costs of repressed human creativity.

     It is tragically dysfunctional to  tolerate,  respect
and support alienated powerful leaders who perpetuate  the
kinds  of  behavior  patterns  which  led  to  their   own
alienation and  dysfunctionality.  Such alienated  leaders
are  blind  to (and/or fail to  acknowledge)    the cause-
and-effect   relations  between  the above  items.    Such
leaders  ignore how some  of   the most  notable presences
and  absences  (related  to   the above  listed  elements)
are  contributing   to   many peoples' distress.

     Domineering leaders often justify their behaviors  as
designed  to achieve good purposes;  as if it is enough to
have   ostensibly  "good"   purposes ---   regardless   of
the consequences  of  the tacit assumptions,    intentions
and motivations   which   guide  their  tragic   selection
of  alienative-means  for achieving such purposes.     The
above   items   hints  as some tragic  consequences  which
are  caused  by presences and absences that  are  all  too
often ignored and/or not acknowledged.

     All   truly   helpful   leaders  clearly demonstrate:
reverence,   civility,   honesty,   and  other aspects  of
personal  integrity.   Truly helpful leaders serve  people
who are more vulnerable than they themselves are.

     TRULY  HELPFUL   leaders  demonstrate  that  they are
clearly committed  to  distinguishing between consequences
which flow from immutable patterns of cause-and-effect (as
described  by the scientifically verified  laws-of-nature)
IN    CONTRAST  TO  consequences  which flow  from   human
decisions   which   are:   arbitrary,  capricious   and/or
prejudicial (usually with  dishonesty,  collusions  and/or
addictions/codependency playing central roles).

     When  leaders are not regularly  demonstrating  clear
signs of honesty,   integrity and coherence ---  doubt and
suspicion about their leadership is both prudent and wise.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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