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 %DOMINEERING PEOPLE OFFEND CRIME DIFFERENT CONFORM+021215
%EXPECTATION UNITY AGREEMENT VIOLENCE VIOLATION SIN+021215
%HOLY SACRED HEAVEN GOD CHANGED DESTROYED GOOD LOVE+021215
%TOLERANT COOPERATE OPEN HONESTY DIALOGUE COLLUSION+021215
 %PERSONAL COMMUNAL INTEGRITIES FACILITATE CIVILITY+021215
   %RESOLVE CONFLICTS HUMILITY PATIENCE PEACEMAKERS 021215
                                                          
     Often domineering people are offended by people whose
only "crime" is the "crime" of being "different"; i.e., of
not conforming to the domineering people's expectations of
submission to control.                                    
                                                          
     Domineering people  often expect  to enjoy unity  via
other people's conformity.  "Different"  people  by  being
"different"  violate domineering people's expectations ---
and  so are experienced by domineering people as "violent"
people; i.e., as people who violate "right" expectations. 
                                                          
     Domineering people's expectations are presumed  to be
holy/sacred ---  never to be violated.  People who violate
holy/sacred things are thought of as "evil"  people. Thus,
"different" people are perceived and experienced as "evil"
people who must be changed or destroyed ---  in order that
all  created things may be as "good"  as they have been in
previous "good" times.                                    
                                                          
     How  are we to differentiate between real  crimes  in
which  truly violent people truly harm innocent people ---
and  occasions in which innocent people who are  different
from  domineering people ---  are perceived/experienced by
domineering  people  as  "different",   "offensive"    and
"violent"; just because they fail to conform themselves to
what are often unknown expectations of domineering people?
                                                          
     It will help to keep in mind the following questions:
                                                          
     1.  Are   the   offended-people  overall   reasonably
tolerant most of the time; i.e., willing to cooperate with
and participate in open and honest dialogue with different
people  who  are  complementary to the offended people ---
by  bringing   to dialogue a range of  helpful   insights,
perspectives,  talents,  skills,  and ways of  approaching
situations where cooperation is needed?                   
                                                          
     2.  Are  the offended-people consistently honest with
themselves  and others about their own and other  people's
limitations, doubts, uncertainties, mistakes,  weaknesses,
needs, etc?                                               
                                                          
     3.  Are the  offended-people overall:  civil,   kind,
gracious, hospitable, generous, considerate, etc?         
                                                          
     4.  Have  the  offended-people demonstrated that they
are  truly  committed to facilitating and  promoting  both
personal  and  communal  kinds of integrity  so  that  the
community as a whole will be healed and healthy?          
                                                          
     5.  Have  the  offended-people  demonstrated  a  true
interest  in resolving conflicts between competing ideals,
values  and principles ---   for the benefit of all people
who have been involved in such conflicts?                 
                                                          
     6.  Have  the  offended-people demonstrated humility,
patience,  good-will and generosity in their dealings with
most other members of their communities?                  
                                                          
     7.  Have  the  offended-people worked as  peacemakers
who seek to promote reconciliation and healing where there
have  been demonstrations of misunderstanding,  confusion,
contentiousness and impatience?                           
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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