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%BONDING VULNERABILITY RISKS INHERENT INTIMATE SINS+021207
  %ABLE HEALTHY SANCTUARY ANGRY REVENGEFUL IDOL GOD+021207
%EVOLUTION MATURITY COURTSHIP LOVE SEXUALITY DEVILS+021207
%RECOGNIZE UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS WARNING SIGNS POWERS+021207
    %DOMINATION COERCION CONTROL COOPERATE SECURITY+021207
%EQUALITY BALANCE SHARING CIVILITY HOSPITALITY GOOD 021207
                                                          
     Bonding-vulnerability is inherent in all             
      opportunities to form intimate friendships          
       which entail both vulnerability and security       
        within healthy sanctuary communities.             
                                                          
     The evolution of maturity                            
      as regards human relationships                      
       entails learning how to recognize unhealthy        
        human behaviors which are warning signs           
         that a person is likely to attempt to become     
          coercive, violent, dominant and/or in control;  
           rather than likely to cooperate in forming a   
            healthy friendship which might evolve         
             by gentle stages --- through deeper levels   
              of intimacy toward the possibilities of     
               sexual intimacy, vulnerability & security. 
                                                          
     The mature person knows how to anticipate            
      attempts by emotionally immature people             
       to become dominant within friendships,             
        intimate relationships, and sexual intimacies.    
                                                          
     Maturity entails being able to recognize the         
      warning signs that a person is likely to try        
       to dominate their-human-relationships.  The mature-
        person knows how to approach such a domineering-  
         person in ways which open up the possibilities   
          of healthy non-domineering-relationships --- in 
           spite of the person's tendencies toward        
            trying to be in-control --- as the-dominant-  
             person in each of their-relationships.       
                                                          
     Humane sexual relationships entail high levels of    
      both vulnerability and security.                    
                                                          
     Mature humans who are involved in a mature sexual    
      relationship are equally vulnerable to each other --
       in balanced ways which make it possible for them   
        to be safely vulnerable with each other --- in the
         absence of any attempt by any person to be       
          in-control of their relationship --- or of any  
           person's experience of their relationship.     
            Such maturity rarely develops quickly.        
             It is risky to presume to develop intimacy   
              quickly with a stranger --- because sexual  
               relationships entail high levels of        
                vulnerability, danger and risk ---        
                 which are usually unknown to the novice  
                  --- who has not been well educated in   
                   regards to  the risks of human sexual  
                    relationships and intimacies.         
                                                          
     The process of human maturation is one in which      
      humans learn how to become more cooperative with    
       each other by committing themselves to facilitating
        and promoting both personal and communal forms of 
         integrations and integrities which demonstrate:  
          honesty, openness, balance, mutuality, wisdom,  
           gentleness, humility, civility, hospitality,   
            authenticity, responsiveness, responsibility, 
             prudence, vulnerability and security.        
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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