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 %ENJOY PERSONAL COMMUNAL INTEGRITIES ABSENCE LOVER+021104
   %COMPLEMENTARY DISINTEGRATE FALL APART EXCLUSION+021104
%ESSENTIAL FOUNDATION PRESENCE DOMINATION ARROGANCE+021104
%SELF INTEREST SPECIAL NARCISSUS THREAT HONESTY SIN+021104
%EXPOSE DECEPTION COLLUSION LOGICAL CORRELATION GOD+021104
%PATTERNS BEHAVIORS CHARACTERISTICS ADDICTION GRACE 021104
                                                          
    We cannot enjoy personal and communal  integrities  in
the    absence   of  the  integration   of   complementary
realities.    Integrity comes through the  integration  of
complementary realities.  Disintegration comes through the
exclusion  of complementary realities which are  essential
foundations for personal and communal integrities.        
                                                          
     Thus  we  cannot truly  enjoy personal  and  communal
integrities in the presence of domineering people  who are
preoccupied    with    excluding   elements   which    are
complementary   to   their   own   special   self-centered
interests.   Domineering people exclude from consideration
all   that   threatens   them:     honesty,    creativity,
authenticity,   gentleness,  inclusive-hospitality,   non-
violent-resistance,  gracious-dialogue,  careful-listening
---  all of which threaten to expose  the  core pattern of
dishonesty/deception upon which "The Domination System" is
utterly dependent.                                        
                                                          
     It is helpful and important to recognize the  LOGICAL
CORRELATIONS     between    the   following    kinds    of
attitudes, thinking and behaviors:                        
                                                          
 1.  Trying to dominate and/or be in control.             
 2.  Loyal service to "The Domination System".            
 3.  Worship of "The Powers That Be".                     
 4.  Exclusive focus upon very few ideals/values.         
 5.  Exclusion of complementary people & ideals.          
 6.  The use of dishonesty, coercion and violence.        
 7.  Going to extremes as extremists/fanatics.            
 8.  Avoidance of the threats of intimacy/honesty.        
 9.  Avoidance  of the threats of peace-makers'   honesty.
10.  Focusing upon individuals, not relationships.        
                                                          
     A.  People who engage in the above interrelated kinds
of  thinking,  attitudes and behaviors ---                
                                                          
       recognize  and   respond  to   each   other  within
       relationships  in  terms  of  formal  arrangements;
                                                          
         e.g.,  marriages which are formally recognized as
         legally  binding,  legally enforceable contracts,
         and  people legally elected to perform the duties
         of  formal offices.                              
                                                          
           Domineering people can find ways to try to     
           control such formal relationships.             
                                                          
     B.  It is a quite  different  matter  to             
                                                          
       recognize  and  appropriately respond  to  to  each
       other within  relationships which are characterized
       by:                                                
                                                          
         informality,    openness,    honesty,   intimacy,
         friendships,     cooperation,     mutual-respect,
         balance,  and sympathetic  consideration for each
         other's:                                         
                                                          
           fears, anxieties,  concerns, hopes, aspirations
           and motivations.                               
                                                          
           Domineering people  are  frustrated   by  such 
           informal relationships  which  are not easy to 
           control.  Attempts to control them do not "pay"
           well.   Lovers who are involved in  truly civil
           and     authentic    relationships    frustrate
           domineering  people's efforts to  be in control
           through   the   use   and   abuse   of   formal
           relationships.                                 
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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