This is http://www.essayz.com/b0210301.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DISTINGUISH LEGITIMATE GROUNDS OBJECTION CRITERIA+021030 %NEGATIVE AFFIRMATIVE WORTHY HONOR RESPECT SUPPORT+021030 %INCONSISTENT INTEGRITY PATTERN BEHAVIORS HONESTY+021030 %RECOGNIZE UNDERSTAND TRANSCEND SUBVERT DEVILS GOD+021030 %HIDDEN CONCEALED OBSCURED REPRESSED SUPPRESSED SIN 021030 How are we to distinguish legitimate grounds for objecting to domineering behaviors --- from non- legitimate ground for objecting to integrative behaviors? What are the most reliable criteria for recognizing what is least worthy of our honor, respect and support; i.e., criteria which are least susceptible to abuse? Consider the following negative- criteria on the left and affirmative-criteria on the right: That which is most worthy That which is most worthy of honor is NOT: of honor IS: ====== == MALICIOUS & DISINTEGRATIVE Gracious & Integrative DECEPTIVE & COLLUSIVE Honest & Healthy RUDE & ARROGANT Gentle, Civil & Humble MEAN & INCONSIDERATE Considerate & Kind VIOLENT & HARMFUL Constructive & Helpful COERCIVE & DEMANDING Facilitative & Liberating UNILATERAL & CONTENTIOUS Reconciling & Cooperative DESTRUCTIVE & WAR-MAKING Peace-making & Constructive REPRESSIVE & RESTRICTING Liberating & Helping PRETENTIOUS & TERRIFYING Authentic & Welcoming MANIPULATIVE & CONTROLLING Mutually desired & enjoyed PRESCRIPTIVE/PROSCRIPTIVE Descriptive or Exemplary EXCLUSIVE & EXCOMMUNICATIVE Inclusive & Hospitable SELFISH & SELF-CENTERED Generous & Cooperative NARCISSISTIC & FEARFUL Healthy & Relaxed ILL-AT-EASE & DISEASED Whole & Well-integrated FRAGMENTED & CONFUSED Coherent, open & clear SECRETIVE & DECEPTIVE Responsive & honest The behaviors of people that are often described by numerous items on the RIGHT above, and rarely described by items on the LEFT above --- DO-MERIT our honor, respect, trust AND support. The behaviors of people that are often described by numerous items on the LEFT above, and rarely described by items on the RIGHT above --- DO-NOT-MERIT our honor, respect, trust or support. Also beware of the behaviors of people that are roughly as often described by items on the LEFT above, as by items on the RIGHT above -- THEY CANNOT BE RELIED ON or trusted to be coherent in ways which merit our honor, respect, trust and support. They may be playing collusive games of mutual self deception, involved in addictive and/or codependent behaviors, and/or involved in covert criminal activities. Not all possible criteria have been included above. In particular, some criteria were intentionally omitted because some criteria can easily be abused by domineering people who regard: laws, rules, regulations, commandments, prescriptions, proscriptions, scriptures, policies, rituals, confessional-statements and formalities --- as tools to be used for personal gain at other people's expense. Such easily abused criteria are not the most helpful means of clearly discerning the presence of abusive behaviors and people. In particular, domineering people often act in ways which make it appear that they affirm and/or meet the criteria. See the next essay as a postlude to this essay. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================