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%LOVERS COLLUDER PERSPECTIVES TOOLS MEANS TECHNIQUE 000728
                                                          
     Domineering  Colluders  and Honest Lovers have  quite
different perspectives in regards to what the words in the
two columns  below  point to.   That which seems desirable
to  one,   is  seen as dangerous to the other;   and  vice
versa. The  goals  of one, are inconsistent with the goals
of the other; and vice versa.                             
                                                          
                                                          
     HUMILITY                    ARROGANCE                
                                                          
     GENTLENESS                  DOMINANCE                
                                                          
     VULNERABILITY               SECURITY                 
                                                          
     SANCTUARY                   DEFENSIVE                
                                                          
     PROBABILITY                 CERTAINTY                
                                                          
     FRIENDSHIP                  LOYALTY                  
                                                          
     INTIMACY                    OBEDIENCE                
                                                          
     LISTENING                   DEMANDING                
                                                          
     PARADOXES                   FACTS                    
                                                          
     POINTINGS                   ASSERTIONS               
                                                          
     DESCRIPTIONS                PROCLAMATIONS            
                                                          
     SHARING                     ACCUMULATING             
                                                          
     GIVING                      POSSESSION               
                                                          
     COOPERATION                 COMPETITION              
                                                          
     FELLOWSHIP                  WINNING                  
                                                          
     DIALOGUE                    INDOCTRINATION           
                                                          
     LISTENING                   TELLING                  
                                                          
     Domineering  people  perceive  danger  in  the   left
column,  and hopes for the achievement of security in  the
right column.                                             
                                                          
     True   lovers  perceive the threats of alienation  in
the  right  column,     and  hopes  for the  enjoyment  of
secure   personal   and   communal integrity in  the  left
column.                                                   
                                                          
     The  life-styles  of domineering people and  of  true
lovers  are  antithetical to each other  ---   based  upon
conflicting    theses  and  ideals.      It  follows  that
domineering people and true lovers will find themselves in
conflict with each other over what is right,   true, good,
proper,    desirable,  and of great importance in  various
situations  ---    because  they  disagree about  what  is
overall  of  great  and/or  ultimate importance.      They
probably  have  not articulated what  is of  great  and/or
ultimate  importance ---   especially  so for  domineering
people.      Domineering  people  are    usually   playing
collusive  games  of mutual  self  deception  ---according
to  the rules of which honesty about what is  of  ultimate
importance  is forbidden;   i.e.,   the rules of the  game
must be kept hidden,  secret and/or obscure.     They must
be  dishonest about their secrecy and  dishonest  ---   in
order to appear respectable, worthy of honor and worthy of
support.                                                  
                                                          
     The conflict between the religious/political  leaders
of  Jesus'   days on planet Earth,  and Jesus'   teachings
and  role  modeling ----  is illustrative of the  conflict
between domineering  people and true lovers.    It is said
that  God is  Love.     That saying  points to   a   truth
which   domineering religious  leaders  feel  obliged   to
obscure,    confuse, transform,  mis-interpret, and abuse.
Thus they abuse the truth  and  those who demonstrate  the
truth through  life-styles   which   expose  the  lack  of
integrity   within domineering   people,     their   life-
styles   and   their "Domination Systems".                
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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