This is http://www.essayz.com/b0007021.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CRITERIA EVALUATION RELATIONS+000702 %EXPECTATION CRITERIA EVALUATION EVOLUTION+000702 %RETROSPECTIVE REFLEXIVE OBJECTIVE SCIENCE 000702 Participants in human relationships bring to their relationships both tacit and overt expectations --- and criteria in terms of which their evolving relationships are evaluated as the relationships evolve; and in retrospect. How our relationships evolve depends upon our expectations, and upon the criteria in terms of which our evaluations are made. Different people begin with different expectations, and criteria. It may be helpful to examine some of our expectations and criteria; and how they effect the evolution of our relationships and our evaluations of them. These are reflexive realities and we need to deal with them openly and honestly as reflexive realities. We may learn much about how people approach relationships by taking note of the extent to which they use some words --- to the exclusion of using other complementary words in the two lists below: Relationships Individuals Authentic Proper Love Law Humility Authority Mercy Condemnation Forgiveness Judgement Inclusion Exclusion Cooperation Salvation Dialogue Righteous Liberation Order Creativity Conformity Integrity Purity Health Propriety Integration Segregation Balance Superiority Mutuality Dominance Interdependence Independence What is important is any pattern of focusing upon words from one side --- to the exclusion of words from the other side. Affirmations offered in the absence of exclusivity rarely cause tragic consequences. Unbalanced extreme affirmations may carry with them tacit/implicit negations of complementary affirmations --- and often lead to tragic consequences. While some thought was given to which words to put opposite each other on each line --- such pairings of individual words are not as important as the overall pattern present in which kinds of words were put on the two separate sides in the listing of contrasting words. Much depends upon what words dominate or lead --- in our expectations and ways of evaluating our evolving relationships. As we look at our relationships we think in terms of our tacit and/or explicit criteria which say what kinds of relationships merit our honor, respect and support. In practice there are many relationships in which overt confessional statements, formal rules and commandments are overwhelmed by the above kinds of tacit, implicit and informal considerations --- with few of those people who are affected being at all aware of what is happening. See the next essay, which relates to this essay. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================