This is http://www.essayz.com/a9901271.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %EMOTIONAL INSECURE PEOPLE PREOCCUPY ISSUE CONTROL+990127 %INVASION PRIVACY RIGHT INTIMATE RELATIONS SEXUAL+990127 %COERCIVE OVERT COVERT TACIT IMPLICIT QUESTION SIN 990127 Emotionally insecure people are often preoccupied with issues of control. They seek to achieve security for themselves --- at the expense of others' loss of security. Often emotionally insecure people equate security for themselves --- with invulnerability on their part; and are prone to try to achieve invulnerability for themselves ---by making other people highly vulnerable and insecure. Emotionally immature and insecure people are often preoccupied in unhelpful ways with other people's private lives --- when they have not been invited to be interested in other people's private lives. Emotionally insecure and immature people often feel that if anything which might embarrass them is not being properly controlled --- their sense of their own security and invulnerability is thereby threatened in inappropriate ways. Then they feel that they have the right to make informal and formal inquiry into the private lives of people whom they are not familiar with --- but have envisioned as being engaged in inappropriately intimate relationships. Emotionally immature and insecure people are often technically sophisticated and skilled in the tactics of coercive emotional manipulation of vulnerable people. They may ask questions of others in ways which heighten others' vulnerability by calling the propriety of others' friendships, intimate relationships, and sexual lives into question. Emotionally immature and insecure people often invite others to join them in being suspicious of the propriety of healthy people's friendships, intimate relationships, and sexual lives. Those whose lives are highlighted are made vulnerable, insecure, and defensive; they are regarded as guilty until they prove themselves innocent. Emotionally insecure and immature people challenge healthy people to figure out what the real meaning of privacy invading questions are --- and then figure out how to answer those questions so as to compensate for the emotional insecurity/immaturity of those who pose questions in ambiguous/invasive ways. They are put in a double/triple bind: 1. They may surrender their rights to privacy and reveal private aspects of their lives --- in futile efforts to prove themselves to be innocent of implied crimes and/or improprieties. 2. They may refuse to surrender their rights to privacy --- and fail to prove themselves innocent of implied crimes and/or improprieties. 3. They may infer that the emotionally immature and insecure people have asked improper questions which invade their privacy --- and thereby open themselves to the accusation that they have accused their questioners of asking improper questions. The emotionally immature and insecure people reserve for themselves the right to spring their trap door to suit their own convenience after the accused has chosen which way to respond. Thus they take advantage of the high level of vulnerability which they created as a trap for the target(s) of their projected insecurity and vulnerability. Such emotionally immaturity and insecurity does not merit our respect or support. It is not a simple matter to transcend such threats to our personal and communal securities and integrities. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================