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 %REGULATE DISCIPLE CONTROL PUNISH PRIVATE BEHAVIOR+980526                                                       
 %RELIGION PRAYER READ SCRIPTURE MEDITATE YOGA EVIL+980526                                       
  %TYRANT DICTATOR COMMUNIST SOCIALIST ATHEIST SINS+980526                                                                
  %INTIMATE FRIENDSHIP PERSONAL RELATIONS SEXUALITY+980526
 %ADDICT CODEPENDENT COLLUSIVE GAMES SELF DEPENDENT 980526                                                
                                                                                                                               
     Some  people  who  are  preoccupied  with  issues  of                                                                    
control focus much of  their attention upon what they fear                                                           
is taking place  in  private  ---  in regards  to types of                                 
behavior which  are suggested by words in the title above.                                                       
They feel that it is their duty,  right,  and/or privilege       
to inquire into and/or intrude into the  private  lives of  
those people whom they do not know,  understand,  respect,                                      
trust or honor ---  to  assure themselves that no improper    
behavior is taking place behind closed doors.   Where they                                                       
are fearful --- suspicion is in order and proper.   People                                                                    
have  a  duty  to help them dispel their  fears  regarding                                 
possible improper private behaviors.                                                       
                                                                                                                               
     Such  fearful people approach private situations with                                                                    
attitudes,   assumptions,  and predispositions which  lead                                                                     
them  to  undermine both personal and communal  integrity.                                                    
They  spread  occasions for fear and infect  more  fearful                                                                     
people  with  their dis-ease.   They are often  absolutely                                                                    
certain that  they  are right, and others  are  absolutely       
wrong; if not evil.   When in doubt, fear the worst.   The                                       
devil is ready, willing and able to mislead people who are                                       
not  absolutely  committed  to doing  what  is  absolutely                                                                     
right.    Righteous people must be committed to doing what       
is  right ---  in order to get other people to do what  is       
right  in  private.   Nobody has a right to  keep  private       
those   behaviors  which  are  improper,   immoral  and/or                                                       
indecent. Only people who have something to hide insist on                                                                    
having  privacy.    Beware of people who insist  on  their                                                                    
rights to have privacy.       
                                                                                                                               
     If  we  are  to  enjoy  both  personal  and  communal                                                                
integrity  we  need to share gifts of security  known  and                 
enjoyed  as the freedom to be safely  vulnerable.     Such                                                                     
sharing entails no manipulations,  coercion,  or violence.           
Such  sharing  entails invitations,   not  demands.   They                                                                     
involve  open  and honest  dialogue,  not condemnations or                                                                  
excommunications. To be integrative people  --- we need to                 
spend  times  in  private meditation,  prayer,  study  and                                                                     
relaxation.     We  need  to  be  free to share  our  most                 
intimate thoughts  and feelings with those who are nearest                     
and dearest to us ---without  fear or coercion playing any               
major role in our sharing.                                                            
                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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